Musings…..

February 20, 2024

I went to the Coroners Court today for the inquest of a man in Tregear who had been killed by dogs. But when I got there I discovered that it was an inquest into seven, yes seven, people who had been killed by dogs. One was a three week old baby pulled from its mother’s arms by their American Staffordshire terrier, which was actually a pitbull. Apparently no one wants to admit to their dog being a pitbull these days because of the restrictions on the breed so they are being sold by breeders, or on Gumtree or privately as American Staffordshire terriers in something called rebranding.

We heard from Professor Paul McGreevy, who gave evidence that the two breeds are closely related, pitbulls were bred for dogfighting and the less aggressive ones are now on the dog show circuit as American Staffordshire terriers. However, he pointed out that the genes for aggression can be shown in the DNA sequences that both breeds share. American Staffordshire terriers are taught to allow for some handling at a show, but that does not alter the aggression in their genes. He described both breeds as bold, aggressive, and importantly, they both take initiative. So they don’t wait to be attacked or hurt in some way, they take the initiative and attack first, therefore we can never be safe from them. Central Coast City Council rangers had given the couple 28 days to prove that their dog should not be declared a pitbull and therefore restricted. The father of the dead child requested a stay because they were dealing with a new baby, two weeks later the baby was dead, he was three weeks old. 

March 14, 2024

One of the weirder encounters I’ve had recently was a man running up to me outside the QVB and excitedly asking: ‘black, black?’ and indicating something with his hands. He looked perhaps Thai and didn’t seem to understand English at all. My bus was due and although I was trying to help, it wasn’t going well until I realised that the hand gesture was like spreading so I asked ‘on toast?’ to which he replied ‘YES, Yes’. So I was able to suggest Vegemite was the word he was looking for and he was thrilled, but we parted and as he walked away he was repeating ‘Vegemuch, Vegemuch’.

A quote from Don Watson: ‘Anzac Day was originally for people who fought. Now it’s become this big national thing that is poorly understood and more and more it’s like a national religion’. I so wish that I had written that though I’ve often said something similar.

March 18, 2024

How hard is it to make a Caesar salad? Pretty hard it seems from the strange combinations I’ve been seeing lately. One at the Palm Beach Club (on a bus tour) came in at $27, but I passed on it when I saw that they were using spinach leaves instead of cos lettuce. At the other end of the price scale was one John and I shared at Olympic Park after long walk on Sunday. It was $14 and even though we shared it, we discovered that we couldn’t finish it and the remainder filled a large takeaway container. That was my dinner tonight. The price was certainly right, the quantity was too, but having mixed leaves with tomato and cucumber made it a fail. It was interesting in that the owners of the shop were clearly Muslim and the bacon had been replaced with very thin, crispy strips of beef, something I hadn’t seen since Dubai. Hopefully soon I will get this delicious dish with all the correct ingredients: cos lettuce, boiled egg, croutons, anchovies, and bacon strips topped with a creamy anchovy-rich mayonnaise. I live in hope.

March 24, 2024

I paid for my Forensic Science course by credit card yesterday and shortly afterwards got a text message purportedly from the ANZ bank asking if it were a genuine transaction. If so, I should press one, and if not press two, but in the meanwhile my card had been temporarily halted. I was at odds, was it a scam? So I tried ringing the ANZ number and it kept telling me to put in my tele code, which I don’t have so I couldn’t get through. My daughter told me not to answer the text under any circumstances as it sounded like a scam. Then I got a call from the Medical Register Of Australia saying that my payment had failed. Finally, I came up with the idea of calling the lost or stolen card number at ANZ, and eventually got through to someone who seemed rather surprised that I hadn’t just pressed one. This is despite numerous messages saying to ignore texts and emails about your bank account. So I pressed one, and it announced by a second text that the transaction would go ahead in about 15 minutes, but the story didn’t end there. the Medical Register people got back to me to say that they had received the funds twice! They were very apologetic and said that they would refund the second payment, they had no idea how it happened. What a bloody mess up and crazy system.

March 26, 2024

I couldn’t believe it when I got a fine notice in the mail. Yes I was parked where they said, but had John‘s disability parking sign on the windscreen. I tend to park there when going on the bus somewhere if John is with me so I don’t have the problem of getting him across the busy road safely. So I decided to contest it, and as part of that lengthy process online, I was asked if I wanted to view the photographs which of course I did. But right in the very first photograph taken from the rear of the car, what is that thing you can see on the windscreen? Yes you got it in one, the disabled parking sticker, so I very politely suggested to them that they enlarge the photo a bit and have a look on the windscreen. I had been there over the mandated two hours but was entitled to stay there indefinitely. I awaited their response with interest and the letter came, with no apology or explanation, just an instruction not to pay the fine.

April 6, 2024

I am always impressed by ABC News presenter, Lydia Feng but last night she made a couple of howlers, first by misnaming Taylor Auerbach (calling him Backhour) and secondly reporting on a bike race where she said a man fell and “broke his cervix“. In both cases, she continued on with no apparent recognition of the mistakes. Who would want to do live television?

May 10, 2024

It came as a shock to have my credit card declined twice in one day, both for piddling amounts. So I rang the bank’s overseas hotline only to be more confused than ever when I was told that I hadn’t paid the bill. It is paid automatically on the due date from an account at a different bank, and has been done that way for decades. So I went to front the bank only to be told that ‘the money is in there but the funds haven’t cleared’ so then I went straight to Bank 2 who assured me that they paid it the day before. Bank 1 couldn’t explain it to my satisfaction but said that the funds should clear overnight, which they did. BUT the next day I got a flurry of emails wanting to know why direct debits hadn’t been paid the day before, some offering me financial counselling or staggered payments! So I’m cross, as this affects my credit rating with a number of organisations. While in Parramatta on a different mission I popped into Bank 1, explained it all over again but was told there was no logical explanation as I still had over $3000 to spend on the account when the card was paused. So none the wiser, but if it happens again I need to think about cutting the card up, though it would be a pain to redirect all the automatic debits.

May 19, 2024

Well I’ve never had as close a shave on Old Northern Road as I did on Saturday night. Thought being around 6 pm on a weekend the traffic wouldn’t be too bad compared to a weekday peak hour, so I got off at my normal stop and waited for some time to cross the busy road. But I’ve learned that it’s easier to tell the speed of cars in the daytime than at night when you can only see the lights. There seemed to be time to cross in a gap in the traffic but I suddenly realised that cars were bearing down at a great speed and I had to run across the second  half. The main car I was worried about didn’t slow down at all, in fact he just kept boring down flashing his lights. I managed to jump up on the kerb but wasn’t at all sure that my suitcase would make it, and was a bit concerned that if he hit the suitcase I could be dragged back onto the road, however I made it and so did the suitcase but not by much. I need to rethink crossing that road at all, perhaps going up to the tech college, crossing at the lights and walking the longer distance home. There has been a trifecta of pedestrian deaths near me in the last 10 days, information courtesy of the Hills Police Area Command, which I’ve recently started following on Facebook. The first was a woman killed by a driver coming out of the petrol station that I usually go to on Seven Hills Road, then a woman was killed at the corner of Old Northern Road and Olive Street near the Baulkham Hills shops and finally on Saturday afternoon, a man was killed crossing Windsor Road. Their ages ranged from 78 to 80. I’m lucky I wasn’t the first in another trifecta.

But on to some good news. John was asked if he would accompany some more disabled residents on a bus tour to the Powerhouse Museum at Castle Hill last Saturday as a helper. So he went as ‘extra staff’ rather than as a resident which he was rightly chuffed about. The lady he looked after bought him a milk shake in the cafe afterwards as a thankyou.

May 20, 2024

Went to Parramatta today to sit in on the Justin Stein murder trial in the Supreme Court. Seeing the trial was in the online court list I was surprised that I couldn’t find the courtroom number on the foyer directory, even more surprised when someone at the Registry told me that there’s no Supreme Court matters heard in Parra! But with persistence I discovered the right court from a Sheriff, apparently Supreme Court matters are not listed on the board for reasons best known to them. I got there two minutes before the judge, who proceeded to tell us that one juror had rung in sick and they were trying to ascertain how sick, in order to decide whether to appoint one of the reserves in his/her place. So an hour was set aside for that, happily filled when Fran rang for a chat. Back to court to find that the jury was stood down for the day to sort it all out. Stein is the son of wealthy high-end antiques dealers Annemie and James Stein at whose QVB shop I occasionally drooled on the glass cases. They also own the luxurious property Wildenstein in Mount Wilson where the murder allegedly occurred. It’s a sorry tale but he is suggesting that his fiancee murdered her 9 year old daughter and he simply covered it up. While not impossible, bearing in mind that she was a drug addict, I find it somewhat unlikely, so I want to spend some time at the case trying to get a sense of the truth.

May 22, 2024

Although I didn’t write it here at the time I have been thinking lots about what I learned at the Forensic Science and Crime Scene Investigation Course recently. Thoughts seem to pop up randomly like when I was driving next to a Tesla today. The lecturer referred to electric vehicles as ‘driveable bombs’ and explained that the only way to put out an electric car fire is to drop the whole vehicle into a dam, swimming pool or similar. Firies can hose them but it’s really pointless as the heat is too great from a lithium battery to be extinguished, they just need to burn themselves out. Interestingly they can’t be towed by a conventional truck either because if the back wheels are rolling it is charging the car, potentially causing a fire, so they need to go onto a flat bed truck.

I have a host of books to read for the course and the first arrived by mail yesterday from World of Books, one of those lovely companies that sends post free. It is about Richard Kuklinski, the American psychopathic killer who began murdering people whom he decided were looking down on him or patronising him in some way but then was noticed by the Mafia who employed him as a contract killer. They put on a film (during our lunchtime, so I was glad I took my own food and didn’t need to go to the cafe) of a psychiatrist interviewing RK in prison and it was poignant when at the end he asked: ‘Doctor I’ve answered all of your questions, can you answer one for me? Why am I like I am?’ He had previously explained that he had no concept of feeling sorry for other people or sorry for his own actions. The doctor did his best to explain, saying that 2-3% of people are genetically primed to be sociopaths but those who suffered mental or physical cruelty before the age of five could then become psychopaths, however those with a happy childhood could use their lack of fear to become test pilots or explorers or climbers of Everest for example. Richard looked somewhat sad and I wanted to give him a hug, which left me wondering if there is also a set of genes that makes a person vulnerable to wanting to hug a mass murderer?

May 23, 2024

A lot happening here. John rang me early complaining of back pain, headache, pain in his arms and legs and a cough, he was fine at 9 pm last night. I texted Vivian as it was shift changeover and I knew she would be busy. She did a RAT for Covid, negative of course on day one, but then did the right thing and organised a PCR, so we can only wait and see. I have tickets for an Eric Bogle concert tomorrow night but clearly he won’t be well enough for that, which is a shame as it was part of his birthday present.

I went as planned to the Stein murder case at Parramatta and saw that the jury is now down to 14 so the sick member has been pulled. The jury is a real League of Nations, only 3, maybe 4, members are Anglos and I’m interested to know if that’s because it represents Parra’s population in general or whether for whatever reason this mix was specifically chosen during the challenge process. Near me there was an elderly lady in a floral skirt and blouse with a hand-embroidered collar, looking just like someone’s sweet old-fashioned granny. She approached me and asked my connection to the Steins (which of course is zero, I only know them by repute) then telling me that she’s been coming each day just because she’s interested in the case. She is 88 and travels by public transport from Epping. She came to Epping to live from Newcastle so she could more easily attend music and theatre performances in the city, rather than travelling down by train! I seriously admired her puff and I’m sure I will be able to get a good rundown of anything I miss from her in future, she’s a very sharp lady who won’t miss a thing.

The first two witnesses were a married couple who own a weekender next door to Wildenstein, talking about what they saw, or more accurately, didn’t see. It was a good day to go as we heard then from a young female forensic pathologist who did the autopsy and she was an excellent witness, explaining things in detail and addressing all of her comments to the jury, not to the wigs or the audience, just as it should be. I was somewhat puzzled by the fact that the shots, from a .22 rifle, were fired in an upward trajectory, strange considering it was a 9 year old being shot by an adult. Her stomach contained schizophrenia medication prescribed for the accused, but nothing was said about the effects that would have on a child, though that was probably due to be discussed by the toxicologist who is a later witness. Next was a forensic ballistics officer (a South African who presumably had plenty of practice over there) who discussed the testing of the rifle used. I understood this better than I would have before the ballistics lectures of two weeks ago. I know very little about guns, but we had a talk at the course on firearm types, ammunition, rifled and smooth bore weapons, and the different types of wounds coming from different guns, so what he was saying made sense.

May 24, 2024

Bussed down for another day at the Stein murder case. In a call with her son recorded at Silverwater gaol, Stein’s mother, Annemie Stein, begged her son not to say that the fatal shooting occurred on the family’s luxury Mount Wilson property. In reply, he agreed and said instead he would say it was ‘on crown land, behind the shed, on the fire break’. The priorities exhibited here are almost unbelievable, to lie to save yourself from being locked up for life is surely understandable, but to do so to protect your mother’s reputation and the value of her piece of real estate is just plain sad and says much about the family dynamic. The Stein family certainly haven’t had a life out of the spotlight. Their super expensive antiques shop in the QVB was in the news about 20 years ago when their best customer, from memory a Blacktown domiciled bank teller who had bought hundreds of antiques, mostly diamond jewellery, turned out to have fraudulently milked the best part of $8 million from the NAB, much of which ended up at Martin and Stein. She had been wined and dined all over Sydney by the Steins and spent weekends at Wildenstein with them. Try to convince me that these wealthy folk didn’t notice a teeny bit of class difference there…. Then there was the well-publicised Stein marriage split and also the long-running court case they brought against their neighbour who had a penchant for firing his guns at birds who were trying to feed on his orchards. Notoriety seems to follow the family but of course this tragic case is something else again.

A man who attempted to befriend me yesterday at court was quite chatty again today. I was a bit reluctant after my pal from yesterday quietly informed me that ‘he’s a psychic’ and to me that’s getting close to ‘he’s odd’. But he was very pleasant today and I was happy to talk to him in the break, when he explained that he’d been down in Victoria searching for the missing Ballarat woman, now feared murdered. He thought that he may have received some sign, clue, manifestation, whatever one calls it, so he rode his motor bike down there but got nothing and came back. I figure that a psychic who tells you that he tried yet got no signs can’t be all bad. My grandmother used to go to spiritualist services in England where it was quite the thing in the north and she told me that the speaker told her that ‘the picture of your dead brother who was killed on the railways is askew and you should straighten it’. It was and she did. So who am I to say he’s not a psychic, I will just take him as I find him.

May 26, 2024

Friday night saw a blast from the past when I went to an Eric Bogle concert at Riverside. It was meant as part of John’s birthday present but he was sick so Martha came along with me (luckily he forgot that we were going somewhere special). Yesterday he was diagnosed with Covid, about which I was totally unsurprised considering his symptoms. Last Saturday when I was in Canberra he was asked to accompany some more disabled residents on a bus trip (perhaps because he was a bit down in the mouth that he wasn’t going home for the weekend?) and I asked him if he had worn a mask, something I insist on whenever we go out. Of course he hadn’t, arguing that no one else was wearing one, so now a number of passengers on the bus, as well as the driver, are stricken with Covid while no other resident on his floor has it. Them’s the breaks but there’s a good chance he could have avoided it with something as simple as a mask. I’m trying not to extrapolate that to ‘he wouldn’t have got Covid if you had been here to look after him’. But back to Eric. His voice has held up remarkably well and I was pleased to hear a lot of new songs as well, he’s now written 260 of them! One called The Flag about neo-Nazis impressed me particularly, but I’m having trouble finding the lyrics online unfortunately. I thought that he became quite emotional near the end of the concert and especially during the encore which he sang without the accompaniment of his excellent band. It was a song he’s in the process of writing and seemed to me to be about the end of his life, which I guess one is thinking about in the 80th year. What a good human he is, it will be a huge loss to the country when he goes.

Sue came on Saturday morning and then we went with Kate, Harvey and Anna to a talk with Niki Savva and Lech Blaine. Harvey was a real hoot at the end, talking his mother into buying one of Savva’s books so he could get in the queue to talk to her. She asked him questions about the genesis of his interest in politics and his answers were classic, but probably not for this journal. He is a one-off that boy, quite a delightful old soul. I am keen to read Blaine’s upcoming memoir about the children his family fostered when he was 10 (amongst many others that they fostered over years), who were removed from their fanatically religious family after the parents sent death threats to Queensland’s politicians. Again a decent human. More about his mum in this article: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/apr/10/mum-dedicated-her-life-to-protecting-others-in-australias-aged-care-system-she-received-no-such-sanctuary.

We came home to feast on fresh mullet brought down by Sue, which I baked with spinach and the tiniest tomatoes I have ever bought (she brought 8 fillets! 6 of which I froze). We had some good laughs about Harvey and discussed topics far and wide. She left this morning after we watched Insiders together.

May 27, 2024

Off to court on this lovely warm autumn day. Kallista Mutten, mother of the murdered girl Charlise, was in the box today. One of my aims in going to this trial was to make a judgment about whether he (Stein) or she is telling the truth about happened. My gut feeling is that her testimony stacks up, but I’m not sure whether he will take the stand at all, somehow I doubt it. His barrister Carolyn Davenport SC must be 80 if she’s a day, though we have heard very little from her when I’ve been there, apart from a persistent and hacking cough that overtakes her periodically. I am curious about how the reporters can simultaneously listen to the evidence and type. As someone who can only concentrate on one thing at a time I find it compelling to watch, but I guess interpreters do it all the time. One lonely man, the only hand scribe, takes longhand notes in a spiral notebook, spacing them across the page and leaving lots of white space, another oddity to someone who uses every scrap of the paper, closely written.

I expressed some doubts about the strength of the ‘balance of probabilities’ in the Lehrmann defamation case. The concept of a 51:49 majority just seems too loose for something that will affect a person for the rest of their lives. I was out of step with everyone from the judge to reporters to family members, but then in the Forensic Science course the lecturer was very clear: that balance depends on the severity of the wrongdoing as well as the penalty that accrues from being guilty. Only my court-going mate had put this view, saying that he was ‘shocked’ by the decision, not because he was confident in the innocence of the accused, but because he felt that it was not adequately proven. So I’ve been reading up on this and discovered the Briginshaw Principle (193 which apparently still stands. “A majority is often described as ‘50% plus one’. Analogous to this, many lawyers assert that if the court is 51% certain of an alleged fact then it is ‘more likely than not’ and so the civil standard is met”. This explanation was specifically rejected by Sir Owen Dixon in 1938.

“Factors that should be taken into account include: the nature of the the allegation and the consequences that would flow from the finding of fact. The Briginshaw principle is not a separate standard of proof, but rather a standard of satisfaction. The more serious the allegation, the more serious should be the consideration given by the decision maker. Serious allegations with serious consequences require more
compelling evidence for the decision maker to feel an ‘actual persuasion’ and reach the
necessary state of reasonable satisfaction that the facts in dispute are more likely than not
to exist”. I’ll go with you Sir Owen, it makes so much more sense to me. Given time I will read the whole case and all of his comments.

John’s treatment appointment at Nelune scheduled for next week has of course had to be cancelled and when I rang them they said they would ring me back with some options for the following week. I pointed out that they needed to ring me rather than John but later discovered that they had rung him and he’d accepted another date and time without speaking to me about it, luckily it is a day that I can do. He just can’t get the idea that I may have other plans, but this time we were lucky. It will disrupt all the future appointments too as they are very strict about the four week gap between infusions.

May 28, 2024

The best laid plans can go awry….I was walking out of the door to get the bus to court when my trusty roofer rang to say that he would come around noon. I need that little matter sorted out so I gave up seeing Kallista Mutten cross-examined, an important part of the proceedings if you are trying to ascertain her guilt or otherwise. She was almost unrecognisable from previous photographs when she appeared in court yesterday, in fact I wondered who the devil she was when she got in the witness box. So if she is physically unrecognisable perhaps she is also quite a different person to the drug-addicted woman of two years ago, making it very difficult to decide how to take her evidence. The meeting with the roof guy Ayman went well, he agrees with me that GIO is just trying to get out of paying the claim for a very small repainting job where water got in during a torrential downpour in January. He says some of their excuses are clearly wrong whereas he agrees that some of the cracks in the ridges need repointing, however they are nowhere near where the water got in! He’s going to give me a quote for that and replacing the sarking that has perished, although he pointed out that many new houses don’t even have sarking. I may tell GIO to take a running jump and just hire a painter myself…to be continued. It is sad because I’ve always found their claims process to be excellent in the past.

So now I’ve discovered Justice Lee references Briginshaw in para 102 of his Lehrmann judgment (I would have heard that, but not known what the devil he was on about at that time) but he still overrode it in his decision. My pal says: “Part of my reasoning is that Lee was scathing of The Project’s unquestioning acceptance of Higgins’ version of events, but that he too has accepted her claims without any corroboration”. Mmm, I will drink to that.

Book group on Friday so I should soon start the book! So far I’ve picked up some differing views on it which makes me keen to begin. No court on Friday either as a result, I will be very cheesed off if Stein gets on the stand that day. He had a good education so he should be able to acquit himself well in terms of answering questions, but I still wonder if his barrister will risk it. I’d prefer it if we could at least see the testimony online but it’s not done, though seeing they need to type it up anyway it is just the flick of a switch to get it out there for the masses, not to mention the help it would be to all the poor madly typing reporters.

May 29, 2024

Off to court for a morning session that ended early because two crime scene investigators from the same lab have come down with an illness of some sort, however we heard from a psychiatrist who saw Mutten as well as a number of police. Of most interest was the news that Annemie Stein is due to give evidence tomorrow, beginning a bit early before the jury is called in, so I suspect from this that she could be classified as an ‘unfavourable witness’ and seek some sort of protection from self-incrimination (purely speculation here).

Each day I get an update from the Hills Police Area Command and I have been shocked by the frequency of serious accidents, burglaries and thefts (these usually coming with excellent CCTV photos of the suspects). One burglary was in Baker Crescent, the dogleg street I walk down to the corner shop, where someone advertised a motor bike on Facebook Marketplace only to be burgled and have three bikes stolen, the masked thieves correctly anticipating that there would be cameras. That is exactly why I never use Marketplace, the person picks up at the door and gets to scope your house while they are at it, with eBay it is all at arm’s length with delivery by post. The suspect pics have made me have a rethink about going up to the shops for a quick purchase in my gardening clothes and sans makeup, someone somewhere can put you up on candid camera, even in the background.

May 30, 2024

To court again today and it was Annemie Stein’s turn in the witness box. I think her evidence was summed up by the judge who, when the jury were out, said words to the effect of ‘I don’t think we are going to get much cooperation in finding the truth with this witness’. She initially denied knowing that Charlise was missing, until she was played police body-worn camera evidence of discussions to that effect; then claimed to have heard Charlise’s voice on the phone in the background of a call with Justin, this after a police video was played where she specifically said that she heard no-one in the background; didn’t know that there was a gun safe in her own house; and generally couldn’t remember much at all, except for remembering very clearly how good her son was with the child and how bad the mother was. Though the gunsafe was news to the witness, others have testified to seeing the ‘safe room’, entry via a fake back wall inside the wardrobe, taking one to a set of stairs into the roof cavity (lots of antiques stored here) and ‘the bunker’ another room hidden underground beneath the back verandah (lots stored there as well). My newfound pals were all there, the 88 year old woman, the bike-riding psychic and the man who always bought his wife’s jewellery from Stein. His memories of her are interesting but I’ve decided not to repeat them here so as not to risk a libel suit.

One fascinating episode came in the morning when I was sitting right behind the only grumpy one of the reporters. Jack had told me years ago about the Daily Mail lifting photos and bits of stories from other papers and I replied that I think they all do a bit of that. But as I watched she altered the headline of the DM story of yesterday updating it with today’s news (big type so I could read it clearly), then the story was added to as the evidence unfolded. Interesting to watch how news is reported in real time, but nothing unusual. But then the photos taken this morning were reviewed. Apparently none was good enough so our friend went to an old Financial Review article about the sale of some of the jewellery from Stein’s shop at auction, viewed a large clear photo of Mrs Stein in a large room, lopped it significantly to just head and shoulders, and dropped it into the article. It will be interesting to see if the photographer gets a byline, but I hardly think so.

Well The Guardian reports that New Delhi had India’s highest ever recorded temperature yesterday. It is almost unliveable at 52.9 degrees I would think and has certainly been so for the poor souls who died without the option of retreating into the aircon. Thinking of all of those outdoor workers and the many shopkeepers in their tiny businesses.

June 1, 2024

Sue stayed overnight after book group yesterday. It was a high end afternoon tea of savoury and sweet delights held in the beautiful environment of Sonia’s house. (I am lusting after the set pf 8 porcelain candleholders which looked for all the world like paper, I’m glad they were not for sale). We were on a unity ticket about the book I think, Small things Like These by Claire Keegan, a novel which moved me to tears in parts and did the same for Michelle. We read according to our past experiences and it was a bit too close to the bone for both of us. I’m on a bit of a Garry Disher roll, having discovered him only recently. Sanctuary, my current read, explores so many iterations of crime and dishonesty by a number of characters that there are scenarios that I wouldn’t even have considered, for example setting up a private detective agency with fake IDs in a ritzy office, talking a client into paying upfront in cash to be used for bribes or whatever, then closing the office and bolting interstate. Similarly the cyber crimes done in somebody’s spare room with a bunch of computers and equipment to fake identities. Parts of this were so real that when he talked about setting up spy cameras in people’s homes I immediately looked up and wondered if ever I would notice if such a thing had been installed, the answer of course being no. But whether someone would go to the trouble to see me in my Ugg boots and dressing gown or sitting on the toilet is another story.

After we got home yesterday I got a call from my court buddy filling me in on the day’s events, basically the Crown wrapped up its case and the Defence case begins on Monday. Aaagh, I will have John tomorrow and Monday so I will miss it, though she is sure to ring me with an update. I am assuming that the defence will consist of putting enough doubt in the jurors’ minds that Kallista could be the guilty party, due to 1. the effects of recently ingested ice 2. possible psychosis at the time 3. her belief in the supernatural eg using a pendulum to make decisions and 4. a fear of the breakup of her relationship with Justin. She’s already instilled a little doubt in my mind (though not in the minds of my compatriots) and she just needs to build on that, with the jury being aware that he’s likely to get a decent sentence in gaol for disposing of the body anyway. My buddy is a close talker and on Thursday sat right next to me, digging me in the ribs with her elbow if she detected lies or evasion. She proffered the suggestion that our biker associate ‘may be a bit predatory’ but he certainly isn’t deaf and as he was sitting two seats away at the time I cringed a bit about that. I had sensed a tinge of jealousy perhaps that his friend was spending more time talking to me than to him, but perhaps it was imagined.

Sue is going to see her daughter today and offered me a lift to Erskineville as Anna lives on the next corner to my daughter. I was planning to drive in after lunch, have an early dinner with them and then go on to see Ink, a play about Rupert Murdoch, at the New Theatre but now I will cadge a lift with Sue after lunch and come home on public transport after the show.

June 2, 2024

After a relaxing morning yesterday Sue and I headed through torrential rain along the M2 to Erko and I spent the afternoon playing the card game Organ Attack, a super educational game where we tried to attack each other’s organs with diseases and such other delights as necrosis and botched surgery. But it is a fabulous introduction to the body and what can go wrong with it as I discovered when my granddaughter was delighted to hit me with gallstones and a urinary tract infection. How else can an 8 year old find out about muscular dystrophy or stroke I ask myself? Lots of fun and cleverly designed.

After dinner my son-in-law drove me up to the New Theatre for the play Ink, the story of Rupert Murdoch’s first foray into publishing outside Australia, his purchase of the failing newspaper The Sun, turning it straight downmarket and making it the biggest selling paper in Britain, now biggest in the world. He did this with near-naked models on page 3, competitions, giveaways and scandal. I had vague memories of the death of Murdoch’s colleague’s wife at the hands of local crooks, they kidnapped her because our Rupe had lent his friend and deputy his Rolls-Royce for a few weeks while he went back in Australia and the baddies assumed that the woman riding around in it was Anna Murdoch. Sadly for Muriel McKay the suitcases full of (fake) money left for the kidnappers were seized by local Bobbies who hadn’t been informed about the arrangement, so poor Muriel paid the price and although her assailants were tried and convicted no body has ever been found, though there was some suggestion that she’d been fed to the pigs on the farm. Some superb performances, particularly by the man who played Muriel’s husband, quite chillingly realistic. The evening ended as it began with thunderous rain along the 15 minute walk to Newtown Station, by now it was 11 pm, but that was all forgotten on the train to the city especially so when I made the acquaintance of a lovely young Samoan man who pressed me to take his umbrella so I wouldn’t get any more wet on the way home. I refused of course but I told him that he was a typical Samoan, which seemed to please him immensely.

Today I picked John up from a pretty depressing Gracewood where everyone is locked down due to Covid and ‘various flus’. Thankfully he is over it now but there are no activities or meals in the dining room due to many others now afflicted so he’s once again confined to barracks. I suspect that situation may prevail for a while. I outsmarted myself at my favourite service station on the way home when I keyed in and paid for $100 worth of petrol on their ‘pay before you fill’ system only to find it would only take $95 worth as I hadn’t allowed for the recent drop in price. Doing a curry and green rice for dinner, the rice full of peas, dill and basil, just the thing for early winter.

June 3, 2024

Who was the most important witness in the Stein trial? Justin. When did he give his evidence? Today. Was I there? Noooooo. No good crying over spilt evidence, I’m sure Pam will fill me in tomorrow if not by phone tonight. We took a trip to the The Water Shop in Cammeray where I did the unthinkable and bought something new. My old water filter has been leaking from the tap and needs a jar under it, plus the three filters were well overdue for replacement. However he didn’t have the filters for that one in stock and when they did come in it was going to cost a pretty penny for three, plus none of the replacement taps fitted. So I bought a new one, much bigger capacity, but with just two filters which were included. When we got home I asked Karen next door if she wanted the old one, explaining that it’s long in the tooth and she jumped at it, so then I felt I’d made the right decision. After that we called in on Michael bearing a cake from Maggio’s in Cammeray which was beyond delicious.

I looked up the headlines just now and it says ‘Giles admits there are no drones’. If that’s true I am completely gobsmacked that he could be so stupid. Perhaps there are white-anters in his department giving him wrong information? I don’t know. But I have supported him because much of the criticism of immigration decisions has been a beat-up considering that every minister in his job has overturned visa cancellations for people convicted of serious crimes, however if this is true there’s no saving him. Tip in case by some miracle he survives: look the detractors square in the eye, stick to the facts, but tell the truth.

June 4, 2024

Well it’s all about courts and crimes today one way or another. Firstly an innocuous observation: I’ve always panned plywood, it’s the bottom choice in any situation, but in the Supreme Court in Parramatta all of the tables, benches, jury box etc are ply. But this is super thick, about 4-5 inches or so though I haven’t yet counted the number of layers. It is just beautifully done, with massive dovetails which make a feature on the sides. I may have to rethink my opposition in the light of this.

But to more important issues. Justin Stein was in the box all day yesterday and today his grilling by the Crown continued. I have to say he is articulate, calm, a good witness in terms of understanding the questions and responding to them and quite willing to agree about the lies he’s told the police in the past. Tapes of his phone calls from gaol to his mother are damning to him, but just as damning to her character perhaps. So what do we know for sure? That either Stein or Mutten killed her daughter and either Stein alone or both of them together conspired to dispose of her body. I’m glad I’m not on this jury, it’s nowhere near an open and shut case.

Next door in court 6 there is a case which has my interest aroused. It was ‘court closed’ all last week but today it was open, however I was otherwise committed. That sign usually means something involving a child, or a sexual assault case or something affecting national security, like terrorism. His name is South American, probably Colombian I’m guessing, but there is zip about the case in the press as far as I can find. Once Stein is done I will have a gander if it’s still on. One highlight of the day was bumping into a fellow court watcher in the toilet, someone whom I regularly chat with, except it was the men’s toilet as he kindly explained.

Our old mate Lehrmann has posted his intention to appeal Justice Lee’s ruling and actually quotes the Briginshaw principle in his reasons for doing so. I think he’s in there with a chance but let’s see what the judges think of it all. The other case of interest at the moment is the double murder charge against pilot Greg Lynn in Victoria. In a sense it has similarities to the Stein case in that there are two competing narratives, both with body disposal being admitted by the accused.

Last night’s 4 Corners was the touching story of Rainbow Lodge in Glebe, one of the few places where released criminals can go for residential rehabilitation back into the world. Many of the inhabitants were struggling and the main reason seemed to be drugs. My reaction to the drug problem has hardened, I think that if we don’t make drugs extremely hard to find, by both strong Border Force work and heavy penalties for dealers we are not going to ever get on top of the problem. Humans are just too susceptible to the seductiveness of drugs to resist them, so the state has to do that job just as the Soviet Union managed to do. Bag searches getting into that country were unbelievable and drugs were the target; get a whole team of drug-sniffing dogs and search every damned piece of luggage and shipping container coming into the country before we end up like Mexico or the US. Crack down big time on the crack labs and don’t dilly dally about starting.

June 5, 2024

I asked my mechanic back in January if he would sell my car for me and he suggested leaving it till a month or so before the rego was due so as to get full value for the green slip fee which isn’t refundable. Then a few weeks ago my neighbour expressed interest in buying it as he was planning to change jobs and needed a vehicle to get to work. I suddenly realised that the rego was due next week and texted him about it but he’s decided to stay where he is with a vehicle provided. So that leaves me with the problem that there’s not enough time to sell before the bill is due, so I puzzled about it during the night and rang GIO at 8am. The shortest period that I can take is 6 months, at well over half of the full year rate, so I’m going to be blowing almost $300 for no benefit.

My court pal rang me first thing to say that she will be there today and will fill me on proceedings in with a phone call tonight. Yesterday she was chipped by the Daily Mail reporter who really doesn’t like anyone sitting near her. The other case of great interest at the moment is the double murder charge against Jetstar pilot Greg Lynn in Victoria. In a sense it has similarities to the Stein case in that there are two competing narratives, but both with body disposal being admitted by the accused.

Took some costume jewellery over to a friend’s house today as she is putting together an outfit to wear to a wedding in Spain next week, a gorgeous dress that she bought with a sheer bolero which she made to go over it. Have left a few brooches with her to try on, mostly gold coloured ones which I don’t wear, they and their fellow goldies are waiting for me to eBay them in a bulk lot, something I should have done long before now. They were the property of a woman from Roseville and I bought them from her widower. I’ve already sold about half of the earrings, all clip-ons, but I have lots of strings of fake pearls and coloured beads to get rid of yet. They only bring pin money but it feels good to send them off to new homes.

June 6, 2024

Apparently the jury went out today in the Stein trial, just in time for a long weekend of thinking, if they last till then. I have swung somewhat in my opinion. Though I don’t feel as if I can trust Kallista, it does appear that Justin changed his testimony about the day and time of the shooting after seeing evidence in the police brief of evidence, which he was given before the trial. In phone conversations with his mother he clearly said that she was shot by Kallista in the early hours of the Thursday when it seems it happened on the previous day. As to motive? One could suspect child abuse in a case like this where the child was alone with him overnight though the Crown didn’t make that suggestion, perhaps because there was no forensic evidence and suggesting motive without evidence might just confuse the jury even more. His mother only came to the trial to give evidence, never to support her son and the father didn’t come at all. So I guess I am satisfied on the balance of probabilities, but not beyond a reasonable doubt. If he is acquitted (which is a possibility I think) it will be for that reason, because the jurors were pretty sure he did it but not sure enough.

Today was the opening of the Sydney Film Festival and Carol kindly offered me some tickets. We saw a Mongolian film, City of Wind, about a teenage shaman who was trying to balance the beliefs of his culture with a modern education and a developing relationship. Very interesting look at the traditions of Mongolia as well as its landscape and it had some worthwhile things to ponder later. The second film, Pepe, was probably the most excruciating film I’ve seen for a long time, if not ever. Carol bravely stayed on to hear the director’s talk afterwards so she may have the good oil on it, but those leaving via the side lane when I did seemed universally censorious. I was pleased to find that it was only 2.30pm when I came out which gave me time to do some chores at home before taking John to St. Vs tomorrow. Had my ticket checked on the bus home and felt suitably virtuous when it was approved.

June 7, 2024

John’s visit to St. Vs is always long but today was a record. We got there at 10.30 and I went back to pick him up at 2, but he was nowhere near finished, which he finally was at 3. Meanwhile I was hoping to get a bus from Darlo into town but couldn’t find a park anywhere so I went to Woollahra instead, pottering around the shops picking up some fruit and veg, nothing exciting sadly, though I did enjoy the time reading my book while waiting for John to finish. It is about an American serial killer, Richard Kuklinski, who we discussed in the psychopathy lecture in the forensic science course. What particularly interested me about him was the question he asked the psychiatrist who had interviewed him in gaol for many hours. ‘Can you tell me why I am like I am?’. The psych explained that about 2% of people have the genetic background to find it difficult to experience fear and to feel empathy. If those people are abused in some way up to the age of 5 they have the potential to become psychopaths, but if they are happy as children they become confident, fearless adults who often gravitate to being explorers, military men, test pilots or similar. I find that both fascinating and poignant. Other studies have shown that the vast majority of serial killers are either adopted, victims of abuse or both. Sadly Kuklinski inherited both the genes for violence and the abusive upbringing.

I think Peter Costello just had his Mark Latham handshake moment. Having watched the video it is hard to see him coming out of this with his job. Ignoring his version of events as well as that of the journalist Liam Mendes, we fall back on the two independent witnesses who have called assault in no uncertain terms, one of them without knowing who Costello was. So typical that PC was at the time being asked questions about the bad behaviour of male Nine executives, join the club Peter.

June 9, 2024

Great party for Jude’s 90th yesterday in a private room at St. George Leagues Club. Somehow I thought the place would be crowded, with difficulty parking, but neither was the case. However our party room was packed with 120 people of whom only 3 seemed not to be family. I find it so odd to be in that environment, when a party for my entire family could be held in a bathroom. Yet here are almost 120 people obviously loving each other to bits, from babies to tattooed teens to middle aged parents to grandparents. The care which is shown to Jude by her grandchildren is a delight to see, young Lachlan ferrying his gran around the room with his arm firmly around her and watching Jude dancing with her very musical and handsome Mexican son-in-law was a treat too. But still somehow it seems foreign, like something I’d read about in a novel but that you would never actually see in real life. I always come away from that family feeling loved, somehow they manage to extend that feeling outside their familial boundaries. T 4. A need for excessive admiration.ook 2 hours to get home through horrendous traffic (where are all these people going and coming from I asked myself), but absolutely worth it. Especially loved Jude’s story of how she managed at age 40, having been a nun for over 20 years and owning only two habits, to get money to buy a dress to go on a date with a priest, later her beloved husband Terry. But that’s a story for face to face only.

Mmm, below are the criteria listed in the DSM-5 for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Obviously one person comes immediately to mind when we read these, someone who has been referred to at times as a malignant narcissist, but what if it applies to the administration of a country or the way a country looks at itself? Perhaps peak capitalism and peak narcissism have reached the obvious endpoint? Consider as you read through these: 1. A grandiose sense of importance. 2. A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success and power. 3. A belief that they are special in such a way that only other high-status peoples or institutions can understand them. 4. A need for excessive admiration. 5. A sense of entitlement. 6. Interpersonally exploitative behaviour. 7. A lack of empathy.  8. An envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her. 9. Arrogant and haughty behaviours or attitudes.

June 10, 2024

I’ve been trying, largely unsuccessfully, to piece together bits of my old blog entries from emails and whatever, and discovered that back in 2018 I was attending a court case about the will of writer Colleen McCullough. She had changed her will in her last days to her estranged husband Ric Robinson, who had recently moved back to become her carer. All her papers and the royalties from her books were left to the University of Oklahoma in her prior will. Despite the best efforts of her close friend and executor, he sadly won the case despite having had a paramour during the marriage, having moved out and reportedly mistreated her towards the end of her life. Justice is elusive.

Bussed into town yesterday to see Gospel According to Paul, a one man show about the life of Paul Keating. One needed a pretty good political knowledge to remember all of the characters mentioned, but most of the audience were of a vintage to understand all of the references. It covered his early life, rise in politics and his time in government, fairly evenly spaced over them all. When I left the theatre the sun was setting behind the bridge and the city and it was a beautiful sight. Decided to wait the 45 minutes or so till the Vivid lights were turned on but sadly those I saw were cartoonish representations, not the beautiful or artistic representations of other years, so I gave it away and came home. The trams had been stopped understandably, the crowds sweeping towards me when I came out of the Opera House were like a huge wave which I had to fight my way through. I wouldn’t have wanted to be there later in the night.

Months ago I laid out a lot of money on tickets to various plays and an opera, but it just happens that they all bunch together in a period of a few weeks, four of them within the next two weeks, so I will be a busy beetle. However if they are all as good as Keating was it will be money well spent.

I see that the wife of sadly deceased doctor Michael Mosley said that: “We’re taking comfort in the fact that he so very nearly made it”. To me that is the biggest tragedy of the whole thing, that he got within 250 feet of safety and perished anyway. But I guess at times like people have to grab whatever comfort they can find. 

June 11, 2024

Well today didn’t quite work out as planned. I rang GIO at 8am and paid the 6 months green slip on my station waggon, then took the car to my mechanic Alex for the pink slip, still full of fuel after putting in a $100 worth a few days ago. But unfortunately it needed 4 new tyres and something else I’ve forgotten which came to $1500 all up, add this to the green slip and it comes pretty nearly to the $2000 I was asking for it. So Alex said to cancel the green slip (which took a lot longer on the phone than getting it!) and he will ring around the wreckers and see what he can get for it. Makes sense financially but I am not someone who sends stuff to scrap easily. However I then needed to come home to drop off John’s birthday presents and some other things that I had foolishly picked up on the way, not knowing how things would pan out. (I had been to the Chocolate Warehouse and bought him a box of Baci Amaretto chocolates, a bag of barley sugars, a bag of eucalyptus and honey drops, a bag of dark chocolate almonds and 2 various blocks of Old Gold chocolate, that should keep him out of trouble for a few weeks). Then back to Blacktown to sadly drop the car off, then a journey home by public transport, getting home after 2pm. Done and dusted, I just hope they syphon out the fuel at least. I think I might have a bath with some lavender oil, guaranteed to salve all ills.

A few weeks ago I joined the Hills Police Area Command Facebook page and what an eye-opener it has been. A few days ago they posted that there had been a group of boys in hoodies and black masks hanging around ‘transport hubs’ and robbing people. Then yesterday they arrested a group of males wearing said hoodies and masks after someone was robbed at Castle Hill train station. But what shocked me was the photographs of the weapons they were carrying: a very large and nasty looking knife, a smaller knife, 2 hammers, some box cutters and somebody’s mother’s meat tenderising hammer. In Castle Hill. At 3 pm, not 3 am. I think I’ll stick to the bus.

June 13, 2024

Yesterday was John’s birthday but we spent it largely at home, planning to be out to a movie and lunch today. However after the present opening ceremony I needed to do some more car admin including the transfer of ownership of his car to me, thereby bulking his dwindling bank account. But Service NSW said that I should have returned the plates of the waggon when it went to the wreckers (I’m sure they didn’t tell me that so they could drive it there instead of using a tow truck). So I needed to fill out forms explaining why I wasn’t returning the plates before they would let me transfer ownership of John’s car. Then I went to leave and the woman reminded me that the car was now uninsured as it had changed hands, so I had to wait on the phone for ages to insure it with GIO as well as getting a green slip for it. When we got home I had to cancel John’s insurance, cancel my Linkt toll gadget and something else now forgotten. Luckily he was rewarded with a dinner he liked after a day of car discussions, but his promised lunch and glass of wine today wasn’t a goer because I wasn’t feeling well enough, however he has a raincheck on that one. Perhaps we will go to Glass Bistro rather than the Palace seeing he has had to wait. We went with Carol in the morning to see Thelma at the Film Festival, it was a delight from start to finish though sadly John couldn’t understand the plot, it looks as if films are completely off the agenda for him now.

Tried to read another Stan Grant article but the thing ended up as a sermon, as do all of his articles lately, so I gave it away. I find that I agree more with John Hewson these days which is a bit of a joke considering his past associations.

Bloody claim assessor from GIO is on my case again (still) because the roofing guy has let me down, providing neither report nor quote, but clearly she thinks I’m full of do-do as she’s sent me an ultimatum regularly. This time it’s 10 days to get a report or else. My policy cancelled? a firing squad? tied up in a cave to be eaten by rats? (I cheated by borrowing this last option from a book I’m reading on the New York Mafia), but the punishment was not at all clear. Now I will have to go through the whole procedure with a different guy and I think roofers are particularly suspect tradesmen as you can’t see their work.

June 14, 2024

I was reduced last night to a fraction of a person, sitting in a hot bath and drinking Ural, so I had to take Bob’s latest antibiotic offering to get me out of the current predicament. Luckily for me the pain faded somewhat overnight, enabling me to still attend to getting the pink slip on John’s (now my) car. It sailed through with no problems and I feel a little bit comforted by Alex’s comment that my old car (sniff) is being ‘cut up for parts’ which is better than my imaginings of it being squashed into a metre x metre block of metal. It’s the first time in about 40 years that I haven’t owned a station waggon and I am trying to avoid looking at council clean-up piles in case I see some wondrous antique which won’t fit in a sedan. Hopefully I will be up for going to the opera tomorrow as planned and also to the lecture before it, which is particularly helpful with a new work.

Still frustratingly trying to patch together bits of the old blog. Paragraphs here and there, but I really want to retrieve all of the Covid period stuff as it is a different mindset altogether and the best way to remember it is to read back through the posts of the time. I found some of it and I had forgotten getting all my fruit, veg and fish from Harris Farm in that period, the fish coming straight from their freezers in the Flemington Markets complex. I’d forgotten feasting on stuffed sardines amongst other things from them.

June 15, 2024

I have cried in an opera before but I’ve never cried through an opera as I did today. Watershed, an opera based on the death of Dr. Duncan in Adelaide’s river Torrens in 1972, brought back a flood of memories of my friends being harassed, beaten, and in one case driven to suicide by the actions of police who made the lives of gay men miserable for decades, and did so with impunity. This was a 5 Star production with a down to earth libretto written jointly by Alana Valentine and Christos Tsiolkas and directed by Neil Armfield with the music composed by Joseph Twist. Dancer Macon Escobal Riley hung by a harness from the ceiling head down for longer than seemed healthy, before being pushed into the ‘river’ onstage and lying in presumably cold water for a quite some time, through all of this looking balletic and beautiful. Tim Reeves wrote the book The Death of Dr. Duncan on which the performance is based and he was signing copies in the foyer, but I couldn’t have got a word out then so I decided to save getting the book for another day. Three vice squad police were implicated and refused to give evidence at the inquest so as not to incriminate themselves. A Scotland Yard team found they were most likely guilty and years later they were tried but refused to testify, the judge accepted an 11 to 1 majority to find them not guilty. I wonder what they are doing today?

June 16, 2024

The roofer due to come this morning postponed at the last minute, saying that his son was sick, but I had done my baking for today’s baby shower earlier this morning to accommodate him, so I was well in front in the end and had time for a leisurely glance at the paper before we left. It was a lovely function, with an activity to decorate a bib with special fabric pens, something I hadn’t seen before. With my limited drawing skills I just did a big butterfly and the baby’s name, Alec and then got talking and neglected to go around and see what others had done. It suddenly occurred to me that I had made the card but not written inside it, however a hasty reopening of the envelope solved that problem. There was a huge pile of gifts there, more than the number of guests I think. I got John back to Gracewood just in time for dinner.

I always read the Deaths in the Saturday Herald and muse that everyone will be ‘sorely missed’, is ‘loved by so many people’, often ‘adored’ in fact. I frequently wonder what the notices would say if everyone told the truth. But this week there was an attempt at that for Richard John Burgess ‘Involuntarily incarcerated in Wyong Hospital 7 months’ and ‘Exiled and stolen from his loved ones. Karma to his Captors’. My goodness I would love to hear the story behind that death notice, almost worth a trip to the funeral to get the lowdown, a pity it is in Wyong. I met someone years ago who admitted to going to funerals of people they didn’t know, partly for the free feed I guess but mainly for the camaraderie. I could relate to that and didn’t feel critical of them, as long as it’s not a mass of course, it just isn’t worth sitting through all that for some sandwiches and a couple of scones. A good atheist funeral though, especially one leaning towards the political left, can be a call to arms and very uplifting and inspiring.

June 18, 2024

Yesterday the roofer came and I was impressed. Last night while I was minding my granddaughter his quote came in by email at 9.30pm, so no complaints about his promptness. I considered it in detail this morning and decided to accept his quote, all of which was clear and made sense to me (apart from the almost dyslexic spelling) BUT this morning I rang Fair Trading to check on his Builder’s Licence details and they had never heard of him! Bugger me, I can’t win in this roof business. I was going to cancel the other chap who is coming tomorrow, but now I won’t.

Still mulling over the Forensic Science course and loving the story that Alexander the Great died in 320BC and his body was preserved in a container lined with honey. Because honey is mainly monosaccharides and H2O, it deprives the microorganisms of water. The low pH and low moisture content starves bacteria of the water they require to survive and grow, though who’s to know how much of the actual Alexander story is myth and how much is truth. However it does link to modern use of honey as an antibacterial agent. Worth more reading. As part of the course I have finished reading The Ice Man, the story of Richard Kuklinski, a classic psychopath and contract killer in the US. Both absorbing and shocking, it is 524 pages of murder most foul. He took orders about methods, so it was hard for law enforcement to connect the dots with someone who shoots, stabs, beats, drowns or burns his victims. The degree of suffering was also to order so a Mafia boss could order a long and painful death for someone who impregnated his daughter or killed his son in a hit and run for example, any way or any degree of brutality could be accommodated. The Iceman (his name due to the fact that some of his corpses were dismembered and frozen) was more than happy, in fact eager, to oblige.

I had been told that the huge, sad, faulty Dyldam buildings at the main intersection in Baulkham Hills was empty apart from security guards living there, but the other day I got talking to a man called Ram at the bus stop and bemoaned its wasted units in a city with so many homeless people. He replied that he lived there, renting from someone who bought off the plan, never a good idea these days. He said that he is the only person on his floor but there are others scattered through the buildings. I fail to understand how a building can be refused an occupation certificate yet still have tenants, but I have no doubt that the young man was telling the truth. The mystery continues.

June 19, 2024

Well Maurice the roofer was on time and gave me a cheaper quote than the unlicensed but charming Irishman. It occurred to me overnight that it was odd that a roofer could afford to have his office on the 20th floor of a tower in Chatswood, but perhaps he runs a few businesses under different names? I should have picked that up as being sus and not been beguiled by his pronunciation of ‘tousand’. Maurice was pleased to see that I had icons on the wall (for purely aesthetic reasons) but when he asked what religion I was I answered honestly. I think I will take his advice, junk the insurance claim and pay him to fix the roof, employing my own painter to do the ceiling. But then I won’t have the lovely Chloe to email………

I was driving this morning when a call came in from my court pal Pam, somehow it rang with importance so I took the call and she was ringing to tell me that the Stein jury had come in with a verdict of guilty. I had over time come to this view myself and breathed a sigh of relief, but felt emotional at the thought of the child and sad at the way his life has turned out, schizophrenia, drug addiction, petty crime and now this. He will face a very long sentence. Pam is on the hunt to get the sentencing date and I will try to be there too.

June 20, 2024

Well as expected Pam rang with the sentencing date for Justin Stein, I think it was August 23, but I was in the car and didn’t write it down. She wants to have lunch afterwards, so I guess we will, she’s a good stick. I’ve set her a task, finding why the trial in the next door court was closed to the public. She’s a bit of a Sherlock and has more time than I do, so I’m sure she will come up with the goods.

I’m probably in the minority here but I have bones to pick with this current production of Death of a Salesman which I saw on Tuesday night. Anthony la Paglia is superb, from his posture and shuffling gait to his eternal optimism in the face of the fact that he’s a has-been. His wage removed, reduced to selling on the road for commission only, it is one of the saddest plays I know and he totally pulls it off. However the parts of his wife and sons are to my mind over-egged, theatrical rather than real, bordering on histrionic at times, while la Paglia holds himself in and lets the suffering show in his face, in his body and its mannerisms. When I last saw this play it was set in the family loungeroom, dull and brown and boring from memory. Was it Belvoir? About 2012? This version is sited in the football stadium where Biff’s dreams crumbled all those years ago and I don’t think the change of scene does anything for the play. Better to site it in the very house he is so desperately trying to save, but I guess every director wants to put their own slant on a production. It was written in 1949 as a condemnation of capitalism and it stands firm as that today. Of the minor cast members Biff’s old school friend and neighbour Bernard, who succeeds in becoming a lawyer appearing before the Supreme Court, was calm and caring towards his pal, realising that Biff’s failure to go to college has probably ruined his life. His performance, like la Paglia’s, was all the better for its control. After the Belvoir performance I could barely leave my seat, I was so traumatised by the play, that didn’t happen this time, yet it did happen in the current Opera Watershed, even though both had the same director, Neil Armfield. Strange.

My my, being on the local police Facebook page is a reality check on what goes on in the area. Just last night another woman was killed in a car accident when the Merc she was travelling in collided with a ute in Tuckwell Avenue at Castle Hill, three others were taken to hospital. It’s a back suburban street but the comments on the page seem to indicate it’s a bit of a speedway. In regards to another post I commented that a black ute that overtook me on the left then crossed three lanes to the right on Old Windsor Rd at Bella Vista this week. He was on L plates! Immediately someone else reported what sounds like the same black ute with L plates cutting her off on the same road in the same area. I need to try to get a number plate if he pops up again. One annoying but unsurprising thing is the spelling on that police site, my fingers itch to correct it but cops and tradies mostly seem to have been off sick or at the toilet during spelling at school. The best one I’ve seen recently was the Irish roofer who in his quote called Gyprock ‘chip rock’, aaaagh the sheets used to have Gyprock written all over them so how can someone not notice at least that it starts with G?

June 21, 2024

From spelling to pronunciation: can someone please organise a class for ABC reporters and politicians to help them say the word nuclear (ensure that Chris Bowen attends). It is “new-klee-ah” people, I don’t understand why this word trips so many people up, perhaps residual brain damage from Mururoa?

In the wake of the nuclear debate I was thinking about Whitlam’s Minerals and Energy Minister Rex Connor who wanted funds to nationalise minerals across Australia. He proposed that to finance his plans, the government should borrow $4 billion from the US. If that had occurred imagine the wealth pouring into the country now, we could have initiated a fixed income for every person in Australia out of the small change. Opportunity lost, probably forever.

When I told friends that I was renewing my passport which had expired I was given dire warnings about the complications and time it would take. But it was 10 minutes in the post office and now it is coming by registered mail today, only 10 days since I applied. Easy peasy.

I have been buying some wonderful glace fruits, oranges, peaches, pineapple, cherries and more, from my tea supplier Pine Coffee and Tea in the industrial estate in Castle Hill. I sensed that it was a once off buy for them so I have been getting quite a few packs to stash away. Today I’m doing an American Fruit Cake which is in the oven as I type. I have rung them to ask that they put away whatever packs they have left for me but sadly that doesn’t amount to many. The oranges are particularly good and I look forward to trying a cake using only them.

June 22, 2024

So the fruit cake I made yesterday was okay, but wasn’t as good as I was hoping for. I wish I had done another recipe which has very little flour but heaps of glace fruit and nuts, somehow this one is more like a traditional fruit cake, not something really special, but John asked for seconds so it can’t be all bad. I’m looking forward to baking pumpkin, potatoes, carrots, onions and my fave Jerusalem artichokes for dinner tonight, I so love their nutty texture. John put the rest of the carrots through the juicer but it always amazes me that a kilo gives us only two glasses, but the possum has a load of crushed carrot for his dinner. The ‘new’ possum, smaller and younger, is the first one who’s ever come in daylight, he usually comes about 5 o’clock or so. I worry that a cat might see him but I guess that can happen anytime, however I’ve been feeding them 40 years or more and it’s a sudden change of habit, maybe he’s a hungry little blighter who just can’t wait for dark.

Two shocking stories on the front page of the Saturday Paper today (a very wet paper as was the SMH), first that the CSIRO has had to close two clinical research units and cancel a plan to set up a food research centre in Victoria due to funding cuts. What do we need more than clinical research and food research? Oh of course, we need to cultivate Scott Morrison to be a link between our government and a possible Trump presidency. How could we even consider such a thing? The man can’t be trusted at any level, certainly not to push this government’s agenda. One hopes that the journalist wrote it from the depths of a febrile imagination. I am still getting over the fact that he was able to use our Washington Embassy to launch his wretched book.

June 23, 2024

We headed off on the bus to the city this morning for the Food and Wine Fair. Loved the cheese tastings, but I didn’t see as much of interest this time, along with the feeling that there were less stalls than last year. I didn’t buy anything and the idea of brochures seems to have fallen by the wayside. Certainly I looked out for the Murray cod, the Lubeck marzipan and the amazing soup mixes that I remember but none were there. We gave the crackers made out of crickets a miss. John was pleased that I suggested ice creams afterwards at Darling Harbour. The walk back up the hill to the QVB burned off some of the cheese.

June 24, 2024

It has been reported that the Riverstone factory that processes ‘meat waste’ for dog food is going to close due to the ghastly smell affecting nearby residents. It was once an abattoir as well but that closed some time ago. I can remember talking to a person who worked mostly at night on a council truck. One of his jobs was picking up the cadavers of euthanased animals from local vets to deliver there and the men at Rivo told them to ‘pick up road kill as well if you see it’. It occurs to me that these animals would be in one case full of drugs and in the other possibly rotten, yet the end product is used to feed animals, presumably mostly dogs. Isn’t this sort of thing how we got mad cow disease?

What I’m finding out on the Hills Police Facebook page fills me with doubts about my fellow man, or in this case woman. “Female charged with High Range Drink Driving – almost six times the legal limit!! A 20 yo Bidwill woman will appear in Parramatta Local Court next month after allegedly driving a Kia sedan on the M2 Motorway Baulkham Hills at 11.20 am 22/6/24. After 000 calls were received regarding erratic driving PolAir tracked the vehicle as it collided with a number of barriers before stopping near the Cropley Drive underpass. Police were directed to the scene where she returned a positive road side breath test. She was arrested and conveyed to Castle Hill Police Station where she returned a blood alcohol reading of 0.284. She was charged with High Range Drink Driving. Her licence was suspended and she’ll appear in Parramatta Local Court next month”. This was all bad enough but a follow up story hours later was almost worse. Believe it or not, she was caught driving again a few hours later, but this time only four times over the limit. I think the judge may be a little cross, as well they should be.

I was very interested to see that that a Freemans Reach egg farm has been quarantined with bird flu, causing a tragic end for those caged chooks (or a blessed release). The only egg farm I know there is P**e Farms which has a history easily recalled. My old client Bob was a close friend of the owner of this establishment and related a conversation about ‘magic eggs’. When he asked what they were Mr. P**e gleefully stated that he only had 200 free-range chooks yet they produced thousands of ‘magic eggs’ every day, raising his bottom line in the process. I have never bought from that company since and encouraged Bob to dob them in, something he wasn’t willing to do. However I may need to rethink my disbelief in karma.

June 26, 2024

Too busy yesterday to post, but spent the day enjoyably, catching up on eco-dyeing technique. It is so unpredictable despite all coming out of the same pot. The plain white cotton scarf came out a treat with clear images of maple leaves, berries and more and adds one more to my already ridiculously large scarf collection. The papers were mixed, some very usable, others less so, but I managed to make two passable cards this afternoon by cutting the worst paper in two, glueing it to card paper and adding paperbark in one case and flowers and leaves in the other. John was here colouring so it was good to sit with him and do craft together.

Big news day with Julian finally free, thanks in large part to our government, but also to his staunch supporters. The big news yesterday was of course the Lynn murder case in Victoria, with a surprising result of not guilty for Russell Hill’s murder yet guilty for Carol Clay’s, but I guess one out of two ain’t bad as Meatloaf sang. What shocked me today though was how much Lynn’s excellent barrister Dann managed to have the judge withhold from the jury, vital evidence all of it, including 5000 hours of taped conversation over many months. There were some things that were arguable such as a doorstop by the police which was taped without the suspect’s knowledge. But as a result of one restriction Dann was able to tell the jury that Lynn had stuck to exactly the same story for the entire time he was being interviewed (despite his knowing that this was untrue) because the judge had only allowed the last four hours of his police interviews to go before the jury. The judge agreed to cutting out all of the many hours that Lynn was denying having seen the couple at all, making the defence’s lies to the jury unable to be refuted by the prosecution, something that they and the police must have found galling in the extreme. It must add more pain to the family of Hill, for whom the not guilty verdict applied. Lynn comes across as a high-functioning sociopath, probably an excellent pilot with his lack of fear and his strong need for absolute control, but not someone to mess with in a deserted forest.

June 27, 2024

So how can it be half way through the year? Saw Bob this morning, still trying to get on top of the latest flare which has taken three weeks to get under control with a change of drugs. I don’t know what I’d do without him, I don’t want to think about it. Currently reading Peter Goldsworthy’s book The Cancer Finishing School, this great writer and GP is suffering from multiple myeloma and describes his treatment, not just from a scientific perspective but from how it feels. Going through a bone marrow transplant is harrowing and often fatal, but he explains how ‘coffee tastes like diesel so I want to get a cup of diesel from the service station to see if it tastes like coffee’. He talks about losing energy, losing taste, losing intellectual ability to do things like reading and he really isn’t that interested in whether he survives or not. But far from being a depressing book it is lots of fun, with laugh out loud stories about his patients over the years. He seems to do house calls for a chance to sit and share a cuppa and a chat as much as for purely medical reasons (don’t tell Medicare) but he’s someone you’d welcome in any time at all, no matter what the reason.

This arv I had a front row seat to see the play Gaslight at Riverside and it was well worth the price of the ticket and more. Four in the cast and you’d be hard pressed to choose between them in terms of acting talent. Afterwards I realised that I’d forgotten to buy some things at the fruit market where Bob is so I just stayed on the bus to Castle Hill, bought my fruit and veg and got the bus back, leaving me on the right side of the road and not risking my life at peak hour.

June 28, 2024

I talked to Bob yesterday about my nightly bad dreams and full on nightmares but he agreed with Prof. Reeves that they are a very rare side effect of the Plaquenil which I take every day. What this stuff is doing to my brain can only be imagined, but seeing he quoted anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and psychosis as being in the same family of ‘very rare’ side effects, perhaps I have come off fairly lightly. If I weren’t in a flare at the moment I’d give the big P a rest for a few months, however now is not the time. Last night it was all about the child of my next door neighbours and somehow I was responsible for getting treatment for her deafness but seeing she is in her 20s and living elsewhere with her partner I have no idea where that could have come from. John’s friend Terry, a psychoanalyst, may have had some clues about all of this but I certainly don’t. However at the time it is very anxiety producing and only comes across as nonsense the next day.

After finally settling my claim with the GIO for ceiling water damage a few days ago (only sorted by my acceptance of a small cash settlement to get the work done myself, rather than using their tradesmen) I happened to ask whether my loss of a freezer full of food due to a faulty power board is a claimable event. Yes certainly I was told, and was sent the online claim form immediately. I have just filled it out and it appears that it’s been accepted already, as I was told that the money will be in my bank in a few days! Contrast this with the hoo-ha that’s gone on since January over the roof, particularly when you consider that the amount they are paying me for the food is MORE THAN THEY’VE GIVEN ME FOR THE CEILING. Perhaps I was just unlucky in that the particular claims officer I ended up with was difficult, as I’ve suspected all along. This latest claim was handled in the polite, efficient manner I’ve become used to since I went with them in 1976. I am supposed to be getting a minor roof repair on Monday, though rain is expected now. However I am so glad that I didn’t go with the silver-tongued Irishman who quoted more than double the amount for the roof repair than what I’ve agreed to with the new fellow. My daily Facebook message from the Hills Police told me yesterday to beware of a group of Irishmen going around quoting for roof repairs and then disappearing with the deposits (or the full amounts in some cases). They target the elderly, surely not moi I thought defensively, however I’ve retrieved his brochure from the Sulo bin and handed it over to the bobbies. So glad that I thought to check him out with Fair Trading who of course had never heard of him or his companies. A close shave.

June 30, 2024

Yesterday after a full day of fun I was too tuckered out to post anything. We went to Manly, had a lovely lunch on Manly Wharf at the Wharf Bar, a shared plate of flathead fillets, chips and salad which neither of us could have eaten alone. Lovely spot and good grub at a fair price. Then we walked through the Corso like tourists and got ice creams at the best gelato bar in Sydney, Anita Gelato. Funny how I always thought Movenpick to be the best, then the only outlet I knew closed and Messina became the ice cream of choice, but that was before Anita opened. My two scoops were superb, Macadamia Cream and Pavlova with Berries. John had Raspberry and Passionfruit, the latter making you wince just like eating an actual passionfruit and of course it was full of seeds as it should be. Spoiled me for any other brand.

Got a letter up in the Saturday Paper yesterday following on from the lead article last week about ScumMo being touted as a conduit between our government and a potential Trump one. Spare me the thought on both counts. But after Biden’s performance, or lack of it, yesterday that option looms over us even more tangibly. If the choice is a near-corpse versus a sociopath, I guess the only answer is to vote for Biden, trusting that his backup team is capable. His festinating gait has been obvious for a couple of years if not more and it is selfish in the extreme to risk another Trump presidency for the sake of his ego. Carl Sagan in 1995 in The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark said it all: “I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness.” Well noted Carl.

Working on the idea that it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission, I am keeping John here for a second night. I suddenly realised that today is the last day of the financial year, having thought that it was the 30th yesterday. So, seeing the lady who monitors his nights home doesn’t work on weekends I thought…….well there’s no one to ask is there? He wants to know what we are doing but if the roofer comes we are stuck here, however it may rain in which case we can decide in the morning.

I saw a picture on Facebook of someone’s pantry black with ants and it made my heart jump, just remembering the terrible infestation of a couple of years back. Thousands upon thousands descended on my pantry for weeks and used to drive me to tears. Despite removing the packet they had eaten their way into, the message was going back to the nest that there was still food to be had here. I’m so careful not to step on ants outside but come over the border into my pantry and it’s just kill, kill, kill.

July 1, 2024

Well the roofer was here for four hours and cleaned the roof and gutters of copious leaves as well as repairing the cracked mortar in the capping tiles and replacing a couple of broken ones. He suggested lopping a few branches off the golden elm so that they didn’t hit the garage roof and didn’t charge any extra for that. A bonus is that the green bin is full of rotted down leaves off the roof which will make excellent top up mulch for the garden, something I will attend to this week. So I think I found a goody and would happily use him again. Interestingly after I sent a pleasant email to the Irishman who quoted double what this man did, to tell him that I was not going ahead, he didn’t ring or text me back or attempt to talk me into going with him. The roof job prevented us from going out but we both enjoyed our activities anyway, John colouring and me making a few cards and prepping a Granny Smith apple crumble. I’m on a bit of a run of cat card designs but not sure who to send them to, however Boris loved the cat one I did for him so an opportunity will present itself.

I see that the Art Gallery is asking for an extra $17 million from the government so it need not make further cutbacks. But Treasury has found that the opening of the new contemporary gallery has failed to boost sales for ticketed shows, in fact the numbers are down! Ahem, if you plan to spend $344 million on a new gallery it’s a bit rich to come begging when its building doesn’t profit you at all. Especially when its all about the building and not so much about the contents. However the government decided to fling them $12.1 million towards its operational costs, which would have been hugely increased when they doubled the gallery footprint. Why exactly do we need two contemporary art galleries in Sydney, as well as the private ones including the highly regarded White Rabbit Gallery in Chippendale? My prediction is that the new gallery will eventually cause the main one to be forced into charging admission, I will get no satisfaction from saying I Told You So.

July 2, 2024

So the aptly named Wes Fang is getting his comeuppance courtesy of Mark Speakman, and not before time. What a nasty piece of work he is, guaranteed to say something unpleasant every time he opens his mouth. I have watched him a number of times online at hearings in parliament house and he alternates between constantly looking at his phone and interjecting inappropriate comments on the matter to hand. I hope Speakman doesn’t back down.

I am feeling virtuous after, instead of going to a movie, I succeeded in spreading on the garden ALL of the mountain of wet leaves retrieved from the roof yesterday. I wish I could also get rid of the many gum branches I have piled up, no one with a fire seems to want them and I don’t want to waste them to the green bin if they can be used. Also I had a feeling that somewhere in the storeroom there was a small lidded wooden box, ideal for storing finished cards I thought, and with luck I found it. So that led to cleaning out my drop-front bureau, putting a pile of made cards into the attractive new receptacle and tidying up the rest of the essentials I store there.

So the West Australians are up in arms over the new live sheep export ban, as expected. I was interested in the 4 Corners programme on Chinese technology (much of which went over my head of course) that they gave an example of a man setting up a company to build massive computers to process cryptocurrency transactions. They were built in some remote place and not causing any objection apparently, but the government just decided that cryptocurrency isn’t something that they support and therefore closed the whole thing down. Now, apart from the obvious fact that refusing permission to build it would have been smarter, I applauded the Chinese for saying that they don’t want to have operating anything that is detrimental to their society. Wow, what a concept. Where do we start? Live animal exports, online gambling sites, casinos, selling off all our minerals and gas for a pittance, gosh so many thing that I’d need time to make a list in case Albo takes up the idea, though there’s fat chance of that.

I was just interrupted by a pleasant young chap from Red Cross and explained that I prefer to give to certain organisations that I already follow. But he surprised me by saying that he wasn’t asking for donations, just letting people know about Red Cross. Somehow it seems an odd thing to pay fellows to do these days, but they must have their reasons, unless of course he’s just looking for houses to rob.

July 3, 2024

Today I tried another bus trip, this time without incident. They rang at 8.20 to say that I was first pick-up despite my expecting them about 9, but they rescheduled me for later which meant I didn’t have to go through all of the winding up, down and around streets to pick people up, a real bonus. We went to high tea at the Intercontinental Hotel at Double Bay (best known as the place where Michael Hutchence breathed his last) and it was lovely sitting near the marble fireplace in the dining room and feasting on savoury Portuguese tarts, egg, cheese and cucumber sambos, sweet tarts and scones. I was very surprised that prosecco was $5 a glass and Moet was $10, the cheapest I’ve ever seen for quality wine, considerably less than you’d pay at the bobby basic local pub here. My table partner quaffed three glasses, while I was happy with one of Moet. The staff were particularly friendly and obliging, not at all stuffy. Home without feeling unwell, the trick is to take the tablets before each of the trips and not rely on just one in the morning to do the job. Lesson learned.

This day in 1993 the Greek government generously decided to forgive Germany its debts from the war. It helped spark what became known as the German economic miracle. Decades later Germany was among the countries resisting Greece’s requests for debt relief, so much for owing a debt of gratitude.

John has been complaining of pain in his hands from arthritis so I talked to one of his three five-star nurses, Bisa, yesterday and suggested Panadol Osteo daily. Just got an email to say that they’ve discussed it with the doctor there and it’s been prescribed. So easy to get things done, just ask any of the three and snap, it’s sorted. I thank my lucky stars every day that my first choice, the Anglican Retirement Village, were so slack in not replying to me for two weeks that he ended up in Baptistcare.

July 4, 2024

Receiving regular emails from Alan as he traverses 6000 kilometres across Canada by car. Prior to this they were on an extended cruise stopping at six ports in Norway then going across to Iceland and Greenland. These last three places, along with Newfoundland which they have just been to are my absolute bucket list destinations, if I realistically thought they were possible, which I don’t. However they remain my dreaming list. I am trying to convince Alan to prepare a First Saturday presentation but he doesn’t seem to think that people would be interested.

So Bruce Lehrmann is to face trial in Toowoomba on another rape charge, but this one could be as problematic as the first, considering they were both on cocaine and she consented the first time earlier that night. Maybe with a judge alone trial perhaps, but not with a jury from what’s been released so far.

John’s nurse Vanessa, one of the five-star trio, is sadly moving to the locked dementia ward so I won’t have the benefit of her wisdom any more, but I couldn’t think of a kinder person to look after those poor tormented souls. I noted last weekend that perhaps John’s sense of taste is awry somehow. I made him toast with a lovely South Cape smoked cheese for breakfast but when I asked if he liked it he replied that he had thought it was peanut butter. I hope that his appreciation of food, one of the things we share an interest in, isn’t going the way of so much else that’s been lost.

I feel a bit sorry for Albo, who hasn’t lived up to my hopes on the Palestine issue, yet had the Fatima Payman disaster right when he should have been getting some kudos for tax cuts, wage hikes and more. I think the problem goes back to the rule that pollies in the Labor Party can’t cross the floor on issues of principle or conscience. Drop that rule and it becomes a non-event politically.

July 5, 2024

Poor John rang at almost 10 am to say that he’d been waiting for me in the foyer since 9 am, he’d got mixed up with tomorrow. I offered to go and get him now but then he’d have to be there all day Sunday with nothing to do, as there are no recreational activities. Fridays he has Happy Hour and a music programme in the afternoon so he decided to go back upstairs and wait for tomorrow, but then discovered that he’s lost his room key, a precious comfort since the attempted heist on his figurines. I’ve told him to ask for a spare to be cut and I’ll fix them up tomorrow, so hopefully they can do that.

Lovely to have Sue here overnight. We sat in front of the fire but no red wine as per usual as she’s trying to do Dry July. I missed my glass of red though as I never open a bottle for myself. Did lentil and feta rissoles with fried tomatoes for breakfast which went down well. Good for me that she comes here for an overnight stay in preference to Kirribilli.

My experiment with stopping Plaquenil is working a treat. For the first five days there was no difference at all, but in the last few days the nightmares have gone altogether!! Too soon to be sure but so far it looks as if it’s working and I feel sooo much better when I wake up in the morning. I decided that the Sjogren’s symptoms were better than the nightmares but the Prof will have a fit, however I don’t see him till January so I will worry about that debate then.

Wonderful news about the British election, apart from the fact that we will have to endure Farage’s ugly mug and grating voice for the next five years. I was so hoping that he would slip into obscurity. He lied that the problem with Britain was the European Union, now there’s not a mention of that at all, everything is the fault of the immigrants.

June 7, 2024

Oh Biden what are you thinking. In the very interview where he is supposed to be reassuring his country that he’s on top of his game he comes out with “You know, not only am I campaigning, but I’m running the world.” We know that US presidents are more like emperors than their counterparts in most other countries, and running the world is probably truer than we would prefer, but to actually say that is astonishing. He should have been pushing his vice-president forward for the last 18 months, making sure she is well known and familiar, but no. The generous observation is that he’s doolally and the alternative is he is a control freak and megalomaniac, both of which are reasonable criticisms of his opponent. Poor America.

Then here we have Albo who can’t get any Press about all the good things he is doing that doesn’t include questions about Fatima Payman. The problem is partly the rigid rule about not crossing the floor for a conscience vote. The Greens and the Coalition have had plenty of people cross the floor and coped, in fact 17 MPs in recent parliaments have crossed the floor, the most frequent being Barnaby Joyce who’s crossed 28 times and Bob Katter who’s crossed on 9 occasions without the world as we know it ending. I do worry about two other things though, the idea of a religiously based party which, along with religious based schools, is a very divisive idea. Also the fact the Glenn Druery is involved, he is no friend of the left and I doubt if he gives a flying fig about Palestine, however getting the opportunity to cut Albo off at the ankles would be a huge temptation for him and so his advice likely has an undertone that may not be understood or appreciated.

We went to the annual Watercolour Exhibition today and for me it wasn’t a patch on last year. I was not sorely tempted to buy as I had been last time, partly because the paintings in general were not as good. But also it has previously been held in historic Lion’s Gate Lodge in the Botanic Gardens with sculpture for sale in the gardens, a raffle to win a painting or two, and Devonshire teas and sambos served in the lodge surrounds so you could have a break for a cuppa and then go around to see your favourites all over again. None of that this time, just in the bare walls of the new gallery, which may be practical but is totally without character. What a pity, it was a favourite event for us in the past. John kept asking where we had parked the car but happily we went by two buses, so parking wasn’t an issue.

July 8, 2024

After checking photos I took last year at the watercolour exhibition I discovered that they were taken in September, not July, and it turns out that I was confusing this exhibition with Artisans in the Garden which is later in the year. So we still have that one to look forward to and it will be at Lion’s Gate I hope.

My communications with the nurses about John are frequent, factual and friendly, always perfectly understandable, but sometimes I am baffled by those from the admin people such as this one about brochures available: “You can find spare time at each level when you are out of life”. Still mulling over what they are trying to tell us here.

I’ve pretty much given up reading anything by Stan Grant since he went down the religious road, but now I am finding Peter Hartcher does my head in too. First it was just on China but he’s taken the road to the right on many things it seems. Pity on both accounts.

July 9, 2024

I am wondering if the current spate of domestic violence incidents is partly a backlash to the fact that women are coming out of the boxes that they’ve been in for so long. It is said that the surge to the right in the US is partly due to the horror of those, particularly in the southern states, who just couldn’t abide the idea of a black president and carried that anger forward. Of course there are other issues involved too, unemployment, struggling to make ends meet, social isolation, to name just a few. In the recent case I mused about how I would have coped at age 28 with 7 children? Not well I suspect.

I noticed that an expected email hadn’t arrived and belatedly looked in junk, only to find seven recent emails there from folks who would usually go straight to the inbox. It’s a very good system but sometimes it’s overzealous. However I won’t complain when I see the tide of rubbish that also found its way to junk.

Currently reading Dassi Erlich’s book In Bad Faith which shows that she was severely abused by both her parents, and the religion itself, long before Malka Leifer came on the scene. She talks of being starved as punishment, being sent to bed along with her siblings at 4.30pm and refused permission to use a toilet till morning, being beaten constantly. But the religious rules have to take much of the blame for the madness in their home. Stealing food from other children’s school bags and eating it sitting on a toilet, she avoids bread because the prayers involved in eating different foods are varied and the bread prayer is a long one. Once again I wonder why we are funding religious schools when I read that the day’s lessons began with Torah studies, followed by a double period of Jewish history, then Jewish law, following that was Yiddish classes and only the last two lessons of the day were English and maths. The whole Orthodox experience she describes would constitute mental illness outside the confines of religion. Then I turn on the 12 o’clock news and Albo has appointed the former president of the Executive Council of Australian Jewry Jillian Segal as a new antisemitism envoy, I had to turn it off.

July 10, 2024

The Hills Area Police Command serves up a daily feast of information, such as the fact that a 17 year old was arrested in Dubbo in relation to burglary in company offences in our local area including the theft of eight pairs of luxury shoes, worth about $14,400. It was in Oatlands and we know the reputation of the suburb as a bolthole for a few wealthy people whose source of income is somewhat dubious, but $1800 per pair of shoes? Though the bigger question for me is ‘how did they know the value of the shoes?’ I’m sure I wouldn’t even be able to hazard a guess at their worth, so did they employ a shoe valuer? Hopefully we will catch a whiff of the procedure when it goes to court.

Another source of neat information is my cousin Carole in Spain who, in response to a question about the heatwave they are currently having and my expectation that their pool was getting a hammering, replied that they couldn’t use it due to the Calima dust?? I had to Google it and it turns out to be a meteorological phenomenon that occurs when fine sand from the Sahara Desert is lifted into the atmosphere and transported by prevailing winds, in this case all over Spain. Apparently they can’t use the pool filter to remove it and it’s ‘a nightmare to get rid of’. Well that’s one thing I won’t ever need to bother GIO about.

July 11, 2024

Now I have cooled down enough to talk about Albo’s ridiculous decision to appoint an ‘envoy’ against antisemitism. How could he be stupid enough to announce it with a follow up statement that ‘we are appointing an Islamophobia envoy as well’, tacked on as an afterthought. Count the Jewish votes Ant and then count the Muslim ones, and don’t complain when you lose all the south western seats of Sydney in the next election, you were never going to win the eastern suburbs ones mate. More importantly, reducing it to a Jewish identity and religious issue and not about the occupation and colonising of a sovereign land is looking at all this in a very narrow way. These actions reduce the conflict to a simple religious conflict and not the conflict of the Palestinian people’s liberation struggle against the Israeli state. I can’t even formulate a letter to the SMH that would be polite enough to publish. I am not anti-Jewish, but I’m happy to put my hand up as anti-Israeli under the current government. Send your bloody envoy around here and we can thrash it out. Perhaps we can book her for First Saturday?

While I’m on my high horse, I’d like someone to convince me of all the good that religion does in the world….. Just finished In Bad Faith and was mortified by the details of the Orthodox upbringing that the author suffered. In a psychiatric hospital in her early 20s Dassi couldn’t believe what she saw from her window, just a couple of kilometres from her home, she had lived her whole life within the few streets of East St. Kilda where her tribe resides. It reminds me so much of the Exclusive Brethren, of which I have some knowledge via a friend. Keep the women at home until they get a marriage offer as soon as they leave school, keep them totally within the community, ban outside friends as evil, use tradespeople, doctors, food providers, etc who are also in the cult so they never get to see how people live ‘outside’, don’t let them go to university or TAFE, ban TV, newspapers and radio, ban secular books. Yes I’ve heard it all before and hate it with every cell in my body.

Today I read about The Saints in Toowoomba, 14 of whom are on trial for murder and manslaughter for watching a type 1 diabetic child die after refusing her insulin. They won’t accept the authority of the court and refuse to plead, ditto re accepting legal advice. (Reminding me again of the Orthodox Jews who partied in Melbourne during Covid lockdown and laughed when the police came calling). What a pity that we can’t tally up how many people religion kills against the few they save. I am half hoping that the Jehovah’s Witnesses come knocking today.

July 12, 2024

Now that I’ve calmed down I fired off a few letters to the papers (the ‘envoy’, Biden, greyhound racing, Anzac Day trading etc) but I think I am too late to the party to get any published, which is fine. Finishing the Dassi Erlich book I came across the statement that: ‘Israelis are remarkably rude or refreshingly frank, depending on your perspective. It’s quite normal to be pushed to the back of a queue if you don’t stand your ground, or to be questioned by a stranger about personal matters’. I immediately thought of John’s ex neighbour, perhaps she is not quite as mad as I thought, just typical of her cultural upbringing. I still don’t want a bar of it though, it took me too long to object so I think I was seen as a willing victim, until I called it quits on the relationship.

So, spies to the left of us and spies to the right this morning. Somehow I always feel more comfortable listening to the AFP’s Reece Kershaw that I do with ASIO’s Mike Burgess, who would be type cast as a shifty bad guy if he were in the movies. Probably a good fellow, but he certainly has shady written on his face, perhaps that’s just what dealing with spying does to you.

Yesterday my entire herb garden was upended if at all possible, and dug out if not, presumably by brush turkeys as I can’t see any other animal eating all of my rocket. I can’t hate them though as many people do, they are pretty and clever and just doing what their nature tells them to. In fact one just came onto my verandah rail, peering down at what was the herb garden as if to say ‘I dun good’. I rarely get them here, though John said he saw one on the garage roof recently, scoping the joint apparently.

I got a text from Gracewood late last night offering me a shift from 7 am to 3 pm today! Clearly it’s a case of mixed messages but it would have been funny to turn up in a nurse’s pinny ready for work, except that it was for the locked ward and eight hours in there would not qualify as funny at all. I thought John may have been interested in seeing Maggie Beer’s new show aimed at revamping the kitchens of nursing homes, so I put it on iview yesterday. Bad move as he got quite upset about it and I had to turn it off. Not quite sure why it upset him so much but it certainly did. I was fascinated by the reactions to their current food from the board members of the home, with the chairman’s comment that it was ‘just like I eat at home’ to be pretty damning. Perhaps his wife has a pantry full of protein powders like the cook there uses. Serving cordial with each meal was a dead giveaway that the ‘chef’ was actually a pretty ordinary cook. I still remember spending a couple of months in Hornsby Hospital in mid-summer and getting brilliantly coloured but liquid ‘jelly’ on my tray every day. They never succeeded in getting it to set. Here’s hoping that Maggie can get the food up to speed, as the dietician reported that 75% of the residents were suffering, or in danger of suffering, from malnutrition. Save me from ever having to be in such a place.

July 13, 2024

Went to the Farmers Market first thing despite having a fridge full of fruit and veg. But I love the marinated goat cheese and the Moroccan spicy hummos that the Lebanese chap makes so I got both of those as well as some sugar snap peas, carrots and salad leaves. Last night I cooked up a pot of cauliflower au gratin with tomatoes on top which will do me for a few meals.

John rang last night asking if I was coming to get him today and I made sure that he recorded in his diary that it is tomorrow, because I am going to the Opera House tonight with Millie and fam to see James and the Giant Peach. But this morning as I was arriving at the market he rang to see if I was on my way and I explained again. But just now at 10.47 he rang to say that he’d been sitting in the foyer for ages and when am I coming. Apart from getting him to write everything in his diary I just don’t know what else to do, he sounds just like that little boy whose parents kept leaving him home alone to go to cocktail parties and dinners and eventually to live overseas without him. It breaks my heart.

July 15, 2024

A lot going on and I had John home yesterday so didn’t do my duty and write here. Let’s get Trump out of the way first. Biden used words something like ‘unprecedented’ or ‘unheard of’ regarding the shooting and I can only say that he needs to read a little bit more history. I found it shocking, but totally unsurprising, in fact I had commented recently wondering how long it would take for a crackpot to try shooting one or the other candidate, not long is the answer. Then we discover that the boy was ‘a misfit, a loner, quiet, shy, was bullied’, surprise surprise. His father owned the AR-15 military style rifle and was registered to vote as a Libertarian, surprises by the bucket load then. I wondered how soon the loonies would get to work on this and then saw someone had posted that it was fake blood that comes in a capsule that you bite, it must take a lot of skill to transfer it to your ear, it would take quite some practice. Pity the young chap who got his head blown off for nothing if that were actually the case.

Yesterday David came over and spent time loading all of my fallen branches for firewood, ably assisted by John who loved helping as well as having him here for morning tea and a chat. I planted daffodils and topped the pot with plate glass just in case the brush turkeys come around the front. I commented to John that I have more to plant and could do with some more sheets of glass and the universe was listening because this arv I pulled up to a roadside rubbish collection and scored 5 sheets, so now I can cover any new plantings. Thanks be to gardening fairies. In the afternoon we went to Radioactive Live at Hills Lodge and it was fun, though I don’t think it works for John, he was confused and couldn’t follow the stories, so if I go again it will be on my own. I found us a seat for afternoon tea but he wanted ‘to sit at a table where our friends are’ but the set-up doesn’t really allow for that unless you are first to bags the only lounge. It is strange that a hotel doesn’t have a cosy lounge with a fire going.

Today I bussed to town and saw the film A Silence at Palace Central. I love that cinema, partly for the great movies they show but also for the super comfy seats. I was alone in the cinema until a man came during the opening credits, but it was still like a personal showing. It was a moving film with superb acting. I’m having a bit of trouble walking with a pain under one heel since yesterday, Trusting that the dreaded plantar fasciitis isn’t either catching or hereditary, while knowing it is neither, but whatever it is I hope it disappears soon.

July 16, 2024

So, J. D. Vance for a possible vice-president. When I read his book way back when, I noted that he was intelligent and funny, but potentially unstable and dangerous. His original description of Trump as America’s Hitler was spot on, but he has since retracted that opinion. The two make a chilling combination, his intelligence and Trump’s rat cunning.

I am planning to take John to the S.H. Ervin Gallery tomorrow to see the Salon des Refuses, but my foot is worse and I will now have to take the car, as walking from Wynyard to Observatory Hill is out of the question, what a bummer as I so prefer to bus it. I had a little competition with myself beginning on April 1, wondering when I would see a Hillsbus with the clock set to the right time. I thought it may be a month, but no, it took till yesterday July 16 to find a bus with the time even remotely close to correct. Woo-hoo!

I tried to change over the membership of the NRMA on John’s old car to my name but was told to leave it in his till it expires. But I was hoping to get him a refund of the unused portion, however it turns out that they don’t refund anything if you cease being a member. So I transferred it into my name and now realise that it wasn’t many months ago that I paid it for him, so I probably shot myself in the foot there as I could have used up the rest of his membership before paying for mine. The downside is that my membership for this car only starts after 48 hours, so tomorrow we either have to go on the bus or drive with no breakdown cover?

I made some lemon curd the other day but discovered that pikelets don’t freeze well, the ones I got out of the freezer were like cardboard, so now I don’t have anything to put the curd on. I really dislike sweet things on whole grain bread, it’s like yogurt with sweet stuff, ugh. Making something to put the curd on is now a job for another day. I am concentrating today on planting the rest of the daffys, covering them with my newfound glass. Managed to score an outdoor table and a stool from a junk pile in the next street this morning, great for raising my pots off the ground in the garden.

July 17, 2024

Well I was feeling pretty down yesterday between Trump/Vance and various minor problems with John which all added up to a dose of the woebegones. But today was a new day and we went to the Ervin Gallery for our annual visit to the Salon des Refuses. The harbour is beautiful from Observatory Hill, with the old and new buildings alongside each other and the water behind. Voted for my favourite painting and then we had something light to eat at the cafe. The notoriously difficult proprietor was all smiles today and I enjoyed my mushroom, leek and potato soup though $23.50 was a rude shock, 50 cents less than John’s chicken salad. Luckily I drove in, as the flight of steps up from Kent Street was closed for restoration of the stone and we would have had a long walk to the bus stop.

The head nurse has asked me to sign a permission note for John to take Aricept, a psychotropic medication which tries to fend off the early effects of Alzheimer’s, for a while at least. Which is strange as he’s been on that tablet for over two years, well before he went to Gracewood, and no one there has asked permission before, an oversight perhaps. I tried to contact his neurologist because I seem to remember her saying that it only works for about a year so I need to know if there is any point in continuing with it at this stage. She’s away till next week so I will do it by email.

Watched Maggie Beer’s televised attempt to revitalise a nursing home, especially in terms of its food, and while I commend her endeavours there are obvious flaws in her approach too. Serving up afternoon tea in gilt edged china which can’t be put in a dishwasher is a fail for starters. Then serving food buffet style is an excellent idea, but having large jugs of cold and HOT milk for frail aged people to serve themselves is just crazy. I suspect that as soon as the cameras depart the staff will go back to the way they’ve always done things. It is interesting that the vibrant and enthusiastic Maggie is a similar age to some of the residents, but I’m sure she won’t settle for a nursing home of that calibre if that unfortunate end befalls her.

July 18, 2024

This morning I decided to see if there was a YouTube video of painting using a straw to blow the paint across the page, an idea that came to me during the night. Of course there was such a thing and although it was intended for adults, the American woman helpfully and in depth explained tricky words she was using like imagination: ‘that is when you think of something in your head, so if you can see a picture in your head, that’s imagination’, realism: ‘means when something looks like the real thing’ and abstract: ‘when it doesn’t really look like something’. I guess by definition I am an abstract painter as none of mine look like much. I was so put off by the commentary that I wasn’t even watching the demo but went as far as ‘this looks a bit like two insects dancing’ so she drew on legs. Nah, I don’t think so.

Today is busier than usual with ‘JohnStuff’, though every day there seems to be something. First the pharmacy bill came in, $241 which was a bit of a shock, so I investigated it in detail. There was a drug on there that isn’t on the PBS so it’s nearly $40 a pop, he needs one a day and there are 30 in the pack, but checking the dates it seems they are charging him for it every 20 days. Bob says there is a PBS substitute available. However that doesn’t answer why they are charging for it so often. Gracewood has changed pharmacies a few months ago and I am starting to think that they’ve picked a bad’n as the previous one was spot on with charges. Now I will have to do a chart of all his meds and see if they are overcharging for the others as well. I did and it gets worse! His BioZinc tablets are in a bottle of 84, yet they are charging him every 42 days. If I contact them today I’ll be calling them fucking crooks and mongrels, so I will wait till the morning and just call them bloody rorters.

July 19, 2024

I’ve often wondered what it was like in Germany in the early 30s as far as the adoring crowds for Hitler are concerned but now I know, much like the Republican Convention which we seem to be following here with an obscene interest. Now I wish I hadn’t wondered. Trump is to give a one and a half hour speech today, bandage intact. I wonder how long it will take for him to accept just a Bandaid, a prolonged time I fear, more likely it will be replaced with a small pillow.

I have finished reading No Country for Idealists by Boris Frankel and oh what a book it is. I took a holiday from David Marr’s Killing for Country and I have to say that the Frankel book is infinitely more intriguing to me, mainly because I had previously read quite a bit on the wars between the British and Aboriginal people, depressing as that is. But back to Boris. His family, committed Communists in Melbourne, decided to migrate to the Soviet Union and within a day of arriving they were regretting their decision. However leaving was much more difficult than getting in and they needed both an exit visa from the Russians and an entry visa from the Australians, but neither were willing. They lived a miserable life in a small Russian town, hungry, with poor accommodation for many years until finally Boris, his mother and two sisters were allowed to come back but not his father, who blamed himself totally for their plight. Eventually, fearing bad publicity in Australia for splitting up the family, he was allowed to return after signing an agreement to never again support a communist or Russian cause. Fascinating stuff.

The trial in the Northern Territory of policeman Neil Mellon has ended with his being sentenced to three months gaol for a string of offences including destruction of evidence. He took it upon himself as a private citizen, not as a police officer, to attend a helicopter crash which involved friends of his, moving the body, disconnecting part of the plane and getting rid of the dead man’s phone. The man who actually threw the phone into the ocean was given just a fine. Later Mellon involved himself in a number of other friends’ cases including domestic violence offences, revealing to them mental health information and details of high-profile investigations related to them. It took me back to the couple of weeks we were in Darwin when I spent some time in their courts for a look see. The case I remember most was the Aboriginal man who was sentenced to the rising of the court after spending 3 months in gaol for……stealing a banana from a convenience store. It’s clear how the law operates in the NT.

JohnStuff: Yesterday I sent an email to the pharmacy dispensing his drugs politely asking them to explain their oversupplying and overcharging of his drugs (the swearing at them is waiting, but not yet). Interestingly when I first queried his account the reply came within minutes but now it is nearly 24 hours and nothing. I guess they are trying to think up a believable explanation which does take time I’m sure. This morning I showed the bill to my Baulko pharmacist who agrees it is a rort, but I am stuck with using them as they have a contract with Gracewood. However I intend to demand that they refund John’s account with the overcharge and threaten them with exposure to whichever government department looks after such things as well as to the Pharmacy Guild. If they don’t comply it’s only a short drive to their location at Eastwood which is where some swearing may come in handy.

July 21, 2024

A surprise call yesterday from Mary and David, our New Zealand friends, to say they are in Sydney for a few days for David’s work (he is a legal mediator in NZ and Australia). So plans were laid to have them here for lunch today. It was so horribly windy yesterday that some time was spent tying more staking to my precious “Lime Magik’ acacia after losing the same tree to a whippy westerly in the past, the current one is a replacement for that after it was broken and killed by the wind. Also it was quite scary hearing the big gum tree hammering the roof and we lost a few branches but no lasting damage. So I decided to make a meal for today that didn’t involve going out shopping, it’s Atlantic Salmon with lemon and brown butter sauce, green veges and salad and an apple and berry crumble (I knew I bought those Granny Smiths for a reason earlier this week).

I already knew, but the sudden thrust of activity has now confirmed, that I’ve been depressed all week. Trump, Vance, issues with John, and a dose of self-pity the culprits. I really felt (and feel) despondent that the pharmacy has ripped him off and it makes me despair of people. So far three polite emails have gone unanswered but I’m determined to make them refund what they’ve stolen, even it it means a hissy fit in their shop (actually a hissy fit would do me the world of good at the moment). Bob says exactly the same thing happened to Nancye’s mother when she was in a home and he suspects that seeing that a patient is on drugs for dementia makes them think that they can get away with it. John’s deteriorating condition means that there is no point in trying to discuss anything like this with him, and I am only too aware that I’ve lost my best friend and loyal supporter. Seeing Mary and David today will be a boost, even though John has forgotten who they are, despite our spending two weeks with them on holiday in NZ a few years back.

The universe did shine on me a few days ago (actually it shines when I wake up at all). Years ago I lent my J. D. Vance book to someone who lent it on and it didn’t come back, but as I was thinking that I wish I still had it to read again, the gods delivered Hillbilly Elegy for use in the street library, thankyou providence. I see Martina Navratilova has come out about Trump’s bandage, saying that a nursing friend contradicts his assertion that ‘ears bleed a lot, there was a lot of blood’. No doubt she will suffer for that comment. But I fear more for all his many critics and how they will suffer if he is elected. I was horrified that one of those helping the poor man who was shot and killed at that infamous rally was a specialist doctor working in emergency at a hospital, how on earth could a person like that be a Trump supporter I ask myself?

July 22, 2024

Yesterday with Mary and David was just what I needed. They are such beautiful people and I regret that they are so far away. Mary came with an armful of flowers for me and in the process left her handbag on the bus from the city, so we waited at the stop as buses came back but no luck. Then I saw one coming back marked ‘Not in Service’, David contacted the depot, and yes by then they had the purse. Drove David to Seven Hills where we picked it up and came back home to toast the find in champagne. Got John back to Gracewood for dinner at 5 to 5, although he was just up from the lunch table where we sat all afternoon.

I always check the food photos in the SMH and for years, no decades, they have been styled by Hannah Meppem and photographed by William Meppem, but I’ve noticed lately that the styling is being done by somebody else though he’s still doing the photography. Has she retired? been overthrown for a younger model? died? I must investigate.

As expected Greg Lynn has appealed his murder conviction, with his tenacious barrister I had no doubts. But I still choked to see Dermott Dann’s quote that ‘Lynn answered honestly every question put to him by the police……..that the jury saw’, the last four words exempting all the lies he told in the recordings of his police interviews, widely seen since his conviction. The hide of the man is astonishing. My court pal Pam rang to make exactly that point, she doesn’t miss a thing.

July 23, 2024

Universe shining department: Today I have been gifted the following, a box full of very interesting wooden, stone and enamel funky costume jewellery (a friend picked up a full jewellery box off a council cleanup but I’ve only seen the photos so far); a large collection of books (mostly children’s, many brand new); and then when I was shopping at Baulks I found first a boxed discarded muffin for the possum and then half a packet of sushi for the birds. To pay back the universe for the animal donations I tidied up the mess that both people had left on the armchairs provided, putting their drink bottles and general rubbish into the bin. Fair deal. Is this not an improvement over last week’s string of downers, yes it is! I commented to my friend that the woman who threw the jewellery out is a selfish cow as it could all have gone to land fill if he hadn’t opened the box, so he went back and tactfully said that if she’s throwing anything else out his friend will find a good home for it, apparently she was chuffed

Of course we are all wondering who Tunnel Man is. What we know so far: he is a detective inspector of NSW Police; he clearly has a drinking problem; he crashed a police car in the Northconnex tunnel abandoning the car in a nearby street suggesting that he lives in the general Hornsby area; he didn’t lose his licence and he didn’t lose his job; his name is suppressed for 40 years!!!; he omitted to tell the insurance company that he was as drunk as a skunk when the car was totalled, having been shown on CCTV to have downed 23 drinks in 8 hours (is there an award for that, like there is for most hot dogs in a sitting for example?). What do we want to know: his name; why he’s so important that his identity is suppressed (does he have a side job with ASIO perhaps?); what punishment will he be dealt? Knowing the risk of a gaol sentence for anyone who reveals his name I can only hazard a guess, which is that his initials are the same as Donald Duck.

This arv I went to the Hearing Hub to collect my new hearing aids. There was a lot of testing going on but I wasn’t asked to respond to all of the noises, just to sit there, so I have no idea what they were doing. But 45 minutes later I walked out with new hearing aids and I go back in a couple of weeks for a follow up and then again in September. Thankyou Albo my sweet, I won’t say anything bad about you today.

Yesterday I got a notice to return a book to the library but couldn’t find it anywhere, finally deciding that I’d accidentally put it in the street library. Of course I beat myself up as careless and was hating having to confess to the librarian, but today it materialised on the floor underneath my library table (where else? it was trying to stay with its pals) so my self-caning can cease till I stuff up next time.

I went up to Dulux yesterday to see if I could snag a painter to do my watermarked ceiling but I found none hanging about, though the staff were really helpful in recommending two. My old painter Joe of past years is not answering his phone, retired? dead? or just changed phone numbers perhaps. One man has come already but I am not keen. I asked myself if it was his quote, his heavy gold chain or his request for cash that put me off, anyway he’s not my guy despite smelling pleasantly like a perfumery when he walked in. The other is coming on Thursday and over the phone I likes him.

July 24, 2024

I have been to sewing but spent the time repairing a box full of clip-on earrings that I want to be rid of. I will put them on eBay but they need cleaning and in some cases glueing. There are almost 30 pairs so I think dividing them into three lots is the go. Colleen mentioned that the house next door to her, old with leadlights and well-restored period features, is going to be bulldozed by the new owner who paid about $3.5 million for it. Apparently there is some delay due to his waiting out the time for overseas arrivals to buy property here without having to pay an extra tax. But a person just in the country has no sense of heritage, no understanding that the street holds two heritage listed properties and many others have good age, so replacing even one of those devalues the whole street. Development hungry councils and the current state government don’t give a fig for holding those values for the future, certainly this buyer doesn’t know or care.

July 25, 2024

I see that the driverless metro train died in a tunnel to Chatswood last week and the poor folk were stuck there for over two hours, with one woman taken to hospital eventually with a claustrophobic anxiety attack. The firies have complained about being asked to enter the tunnel without the power being switched off on the tracks, risking electrocution. My worst nightmare come true and why I won’t be going on the damned thing. Actually second worst nightmare, worst is any sort of plane malfunction.

Well the second painter recommended by Dulux has been and I have my man. Friendly, warm, natural “can we have a look see at whether you’ve got any ceiling white in the garage so I don’t need to charge you for the paint?”, his quote is 30% of the first guy, not 30% off, but 30% of the total! And he didn’t ask for cash, a big bonus to me because I’ve never resented paying tax, only objected to some of the things my taxes are spent on. He’s busy for a month but I’m not in a hurry.

I was going to comment on Netanyahu but why spoil a lovely day? He can wait.

July 26, 2024

I am wondering if Netanyahu’s referral to Joe Biden as “a proud Irish-American Zionist” was a deliberate dog whistle to Democrats, hoping to incense them and thereby increase the Republican vote. Calling someone a Zionist these days is surely a coded insult in most people’s books.

JohnStuff: My argument with the new pharmacy seems to have been solved for now with a refund for overcharging and a commitment to use only PBS funded drugs unless I have approved same. I’m sure they think I’m a penny-pinching old witch but in John’s case I’m happy to have that moniker. Last night he was so confused about what was happening today that I needed to explain to the staff and they wrote it out for him. But this morning he asked ‘so what are we doing for the rest of the day?’ and I explained who was coming, what time etc. After a moment he asked ‘who owns George?’ which I thought was lovely terminology, though he remembered him after I mentioned Sonia. On a more concerning level I sometimes hear him muttering ‘You’re a goose. What are you Murray?’ followed by ‘I’m a goose brother’, referring back to a frequently remembered conversation that he had with a harsh teacher at his Catholic school. He has never let that slur go after all these years and it still upsets him. How our words can echo down the decades.

July 27, 2024

I am so pleased that Gladys Berejiklian lost her appeal against ICAC’s findings. It was on a technicality anyway and the majority rightly threw it out. Having watched the ICAC hearings live, I had no doubt about the original decision being the right one. Unfortunately I believe that Gladys is psychically unable to see herself in a critical light; after all she was dux of her school, top achiever in her family, Armenian migrant made good, minister, premier, how could she possibly do wrong? In a way it’s the exact opposite of John’s personality where he blames himself for everything. If something is missing it’s ‘did I lose it?’, if something’s broken it’s ‘did I break it?’. But Our Glad believes her own PR I’m afraid, got her a good job at Optus though didn’t it? Confidence is all apparently.

Back to the painter’s quote: The GIO’s painter wanted $885 to paint a tiny ceiling and wouldn’t guarantee the work because of his idea that the slope of the roof was inadequate, so eventually I accepted a cash settlement of $485 (less the $400 excess that I need to pay). The first painter quoted $500 cash, a cost to me of 15 bucks but with the second quote of $150 I actually make a $350 profit! Just shows how much the GIO’s tradespeople are overcharging them though.

Picked up a host of stuff today: children’s books, a linen basket full of clothes and a box full of jewellery, all thrown out by someone in Annangrove, thank goodness they were all retrieved before it rained. So I’ve spent the afternoon sorting them (books for Millie versus street library books, worn clothes cut up for dusters, good clothes ironed for Sallies, summer clothes stowed away for Sallies later in the year, jewellery poor moi, jewellery to go to Sallies). Although it was a big job it was eminently satisfying.

July 28, 2024

Went to cake baking at Carol’s today and I think it worked out well in terms of output. Had a beautiful carrot and beetroot salad at lunch which I think had orange juice as the dressing so I plan to emulate that soon. I never tire of salads, winter or summer. On the way to Gracewood, shortly after leaving Carol’s, John asked me why we had been there today. After I explained that we had been there to help with cake baking he remembered that and asked ‘what tasks did Carol give the other men to do? I didn’t see them’ but the rest of the group were all women. He was on his usual and chosen duty, the washing up. Sometimes you think he is across what’s happening and then you discover he’s not, bless him. Anyway he said that we’d had a good time so that’s the main thing.

July 29, 2024

It was 9 degrees in the loungeroom when I got up so I quickly headed off to the Sallies at Dural with the clothes I’d washed and ironed for them, plus a couple of pairs of shoes that I never wear, a handbag and some ornaments. I got out of there only having bought 2 packets of five cakes of soap for John who doesn’t like the liquid soap he is provided (plus I must admit, a beautiful scarf for $1). Sallies often has lots of new stuff like shampoo, soap, cleaning products etc that must be donated by companies. Then bought some beetroot to try to reproduce the carrot and beetroot salad I had yesterday but somehow it doesn’t taste the same, despite making a dressing of olive oil and orange juice which I detected in the original. However mine is nice and perfectly edible.

I am thinking that we need to consider renaming the ABC to ARC (for Antiques Roadshow Channel) as it seems to use that show to fill every gap. Even though I enjoy the programme, it is galling to see them replace The Drum with it. A friend of a friend asked for advice in reducing the furniture and smalls in a large 4 bedroom house in Pymble to downsize to a unit nearby. I suggested getting Bargain Hunt Auctions to come and take everything in one go, which they promptly did. However I saw today the first of her things go online and cringed to see a kitchen dresser she paid $5500 for get an initial bid of $100. I know it’s a first bid but gosh I don’t think I’d have the hide to bid that low, there are 6 more days to run though. However judging by another auction finishing in about 4 hours, the prices are woeful. Royal Doulton statues that I would have asked at least $250 each for in the shop are going as a pair for $20, not one pair but numerous different ones. Lladro was always a good seller and I was pleased when some came up at the right price, but 3 or 4 in a lot are going for $30. I’m glad I didn’t do as some folks did and buy up Doulton and Lladro as an investment.

I see Albo has demoted Andrew Giles which is a shame as he is one of the few pollies who never says an unkind word, even as he’s being skewered by Dutton et al.

A young Hunter Valley man has died from Influenza A after paramedics called to his home told him ‘that he was coming out the other side of it’. He had worked with engineered stone and it’s considered that this could have caused his death when the flu turned to pneumonia, however it’s bad that the ambos didn’t take him in. John’s dear friend Kevin has been taken to palliative care at Concord Hospital due to end stage mesothelioma, he is unable to talk on the phone and I’m reluctant to visit as he’s struggling to breathe. A beautiful soul and a terrible loss to the world.

July 30, 2024

I just looked up the furniture that I recommended be sent to auction and the 12 foot dining table in cherry wood with 12 matching chairs, all in perfect condition, is going at the moment for $40 all up. Yet people will go out and spent thousands on crap furniture at the big name stores, I just don’t get it.

Today was so cold that I finally wore the hand knitted Kashmiri socks I was gifted a few years back and that I’ve resisted wearing because they are ‘too good’. It was 8 degrees in the morning and I ended up leaving my PJ pants on and putting a jumper with them to complete the ensemble, luckily there were no visitors. I was intending to take a piece of hand embroidered fabric, Indian maybe, to give to the sewing group in case anyone could put it to use. It was the covering of a damaged box that was in the Annangrove haul, but then I decided to start cutting it up and making cards from it and got four done this afternoon, not works of art but something different.

My letter to the SMH didn’t get a go but here it is in part: ‘Despite the designer of the Olympic depiction of an Ancient Greek Bacchanal refuting that it was even remotely connected to Jesus and the Last Supper, all the usual suspects have come out of their boxes positively outraged. Outrage and moral indignation seem to be their favoured positions, regardless of the facts. In the old days we recommended a Bex and a good lie down in these situations, but perhaps just sticking to the lying down is for the best these days’. As soon as I heard about the Paris fracas I thought here comes Israel Folau and the Australian Christian Lobby and as if I had snapped my fingers, there they were. The right wing Christians are always searching for persecution or anything that would indicate the ‘end of days’ to justify their position and I think in many cases they actually hope it is the end of days, which is why they give not a fig about climate change, war, poverty and the like.

July 31, 2024

I woke up this morning and thought whatever is on today I think I’ll cancel, but then realised it was a bus tour and as I had booked a month ago it was a given that I’d go. It was just a lunch outing to Vanilla Cream Cafe at Annangrove but I was very lucky in that I was seated with the driver, a Zoroastrian Indian and an Indian volunteer, so we spent lunch discussing British colonialism, American dominance and so forth, at their instigation not mine. Such a change from the usual pedestrian conversations on the bus group outings. The food was good and reasonably priced and the place was packed, though partly because as well as our minibus group there was a car club gathering, lots of sports cars and a purple Rolls-Royce in the car park (probably the last colour I would paint a Roller, but each to their own). I had taken with me a purple stone necklace to give to Tonya, who always wears purple, but she didn’t go on this trip. We passed by the end of Memorial Drive on the way home and I wished we could have called in on John, or better still taken him with us, but that’s not allowed as it would be double dipping into the government coffers. If only I could be sure of the destinations I would like to do the mystery tours as well, but I don’t want to risk any more windy roads.

Reread Tim Winton’s novel Breath at Martha’s instigation as she wants to discuss it and it is years since I read it the first time. It is just as powerful the second time around and I finished it this morning while waiting for the bus. It really takes us inside the head of Pikelet and even though I’m not a bit sporty I loved all the surfing descriptions. Would he get away with a novel these days about a relationship between a 15 year old boy and a woman in her 30s? I’m not so sure, we’ve become much more conservative about what we can depict.

August 1, 2024

Happy birthday horses and wattle. I’ve decided that the premier qualification to be successful in the Olympics is a flat chest. Swimmers are always ironing board flat but I’ve started noticing that it’s the same for all the sports. I’m glad therefore that I was always disinterested in every sport.

I have been pretty slack on the Coroners Court front lately, though I check the register every now and again and read some of the findings online. At the forensic science course there was a talk about coroners versus medical examiners, the US system. Apparently there were so many cases of corruption in the coroner system there due to political pressure from those affected or their relatives that many states abandoned coroners altogether and went to a medical examiner system, but both systems remain. Many states have a medical examiner system, many have a coroner system, and 18 states have a mixed system. Coroners there are elected lay people whereas here they are judicial appointments, so it’s easy to see how a coroner in the US could be enticed not to notice a suicide if that means that the insurance company won’t pay out to one of the town’s powerful families. In fact a number of coroners are currently in gaol for corruption for Medicare fraud. Conflicts of interest occur especially when funeral directors, prosecutors or sheriffs act as coroners. A medical examiner in contrast is an independent doctor with specialist training in pathology and forensic science who can integrate autopsy findings with those from the crime scene and the laboratory. I think we are stuck with the coroner system here but I think moving to the medical examiner model would be a great improvement overall.

April 2, 2024

After coming to Killcare by bus and train yesterday we dined last night at Osteria Il Coccia on the Esplanade at Ettalong. A thing about the central coast is being able to drive to your destination and park at the door as often as not. They don’t use electricity or gas to cook there, everything is made over the flame. We supped on Merimbula oysters, then shared a slab of tuna just tickled by the flame, served on a bed of Jerusalem artichokes with sides of brussels sprouts with chili and parmesan and a salad, following up with a shared serve of cheesecake with grapes and Montenegro liqueur. Sharing made it all manageable without being too full. It had been prearranged that Bob Brimble would book community transport to come down from Toowoon Bay for the day and as it was quite cold we sat in front of a warm fire most of the day apart from a short drive to nearby Wagstaff to look out over the lake and watch the birds. In the evening Sue cooked a pie of blue-eye trevalla in a cream sauce after which we returned to the fire. Bliss.

April 3, 2024

Off after 8 to the big smoke, picking up John at Gracewood (where he was in Covid lockdown due to three cases on his floor) and then coming here. Sue took off to see her mum while I finished off the rice, lentil and brussels sprout dish and headed off to Martha’s for First Saturday. The talk was by Norman Webb on bees and it was fascinating, so incredible to hear about the complexity of their short lives. He mentioned inexplicable things like the fact that a swarm of bees can settle on a particular branch of a tree and a year or more later another swarm can land on the exact same spot, despite the fact that all of the first swarm are long dead as their lifespan is only six weeks. How is it so? He didn’t know. He explained the fight against the verroa mite and expressed the view that it was always a waste of time to try to eradicate it and many beekeepers were put out of business by the attempt. Every country who had tried to stop the mite had failed, we were the last country to get it. Bought some Manuka honey from him so bees will remain in my thoughts for a while. John really enjoyed it and asked some interesting questions.

August 4, 2024

Well my pleasure in the honey was short-lived as it didn’t get as far as home. Searched the car, pantry, fridge and kitchen but no honey. Martha says it isn’t there so I think someone has mistakenly picked it up, that’s the only explanation I can think of. But the good news is that John remembered First Saturday this morning and knew it was about bees, he was really engaged with it yesterday. We stayed home today and I fashioned a small cork from a whiskey cork Sue gave me, so now my hanging basket of nasturtiums and Spanish Moss has a better source of water when it rains or when I remember to water them both. Cork shaving is an interesting little job I discovered, which we followed by hauling out all the many paint cans I have looking for undercoat and ceiling white, both of which I found, so the painter whose quote was so reasonable won’t even have to shell out for paint. Some cans which rattled were even thrown out!

I watched the very end of an Antiques Roadshow episode, hard to miss on ABC now, only to see someone with a magnificent rosewood table inlaid with satinwood. It was from about 1800 and the couple had inherited it. Giving a value of about 15,000 pounds the man asked if there were any chairs; ‘Oh yes there were but they got a bit rickety so I burnt them’. The assessor was incredulous, as was I, but they would have been worth a similar amount. Philistines about such things are not as common in England as they are here, but clearly they exist.

I am seriously thinking about going to the Jewish Museum and asking whether there are people there who support the state of Israel but deplore its tactics and its government. As there are plenty of protestors over there, there must surely be some of like mind here. It is inexcusable the way they have (cleverly) conflated anti-Zionism with antisemitism and that needs to be called out.

August 5, 2024

I keep getting an invitation to work shifts at Gracewood, despite having replied that I’m not a nurse and I’m sure they wouldn’t really want me! But still they come, this morning’s being worded somewhat differently: ‘There is vacant shit on Tuesday 7-3 in Hampton if you are interested’. If it were not for the language difficulty I would reply asking them to just clean it up.

The appalling scenes in Britain and Northern Ireland these last few days are distressing but not unsurprising. I have never seen such blatant racism and overt racial abuse on the streets and on public transport as I have in northern England, so when you add that common behaviour to the tragedy of young girls being stabbed and the internet posts wrongly blaming the deaths on an asylum seeker, it just fires up existing biases. My own family laughed at my suggestion that I take them to Bradford for an authentic Indian meal as recommended in my Lonely Planet (of course what is known as Indian food there is largely Bangladeshi of Pakistani, but that’s another issue). Why we would want to go and eat with Pakis they said, when there’s a good Indian takeaway place nearby run by British people? Um okay, I dropped that idea. But I was always nervous when on a bus driven by a coloured person, waiting for the abuse to start, often as the abusers were getting off but sometimes a continual tirade. Now they have the far right telling them that it’s their duty as white British people to attack hotels housing asylum seekers, I think this is only the beginning.

My beautiful Bougies de Luxe lavender bath oil bought as a gift from my friend Michelle W. is nearly empty despite my judicious use. So I thought I’d look up the company and see if they mentioned what oils they use, and bingo, there is the recipe. So I went to the chemist for sweet almond oil and jojoba oil to combine with the lavender which is profusely flowering in the garden right now. Should be able to make two bottles with what I’ve bought. They told me that they were out of jojoba but as I was walking out of the shop they came running with the news that they’d put the last bottle away for someone but she hadn’t come back, so I was lucky there.

August 6, 2024

Off to the audiologist today to check my new hearing aids but it was a short appointment as everything is fine. The booklet that came with them says that this model works for hearing loss of 15db to 75db, mild to severe deafness, so I asked Andrew what mine was and he said 35 so I’m pretty much in the middle as moderate. One more appointment before he’s happy that there are no problems.

Made the lavender bath oil today and I probably overdosed it with lavender, it looks almost solid, but I can dilute it with more oil as it’s used. Also planted in a pot the two new crucifix orchids given to me by Barbara after I said I had bought one from the Botanic Gardens, she has quite a few in her garden. The rest of this morning was filled with writing a long letter to Anne in England (who has neither computer nor smart phone), sending a card and letter to my brother and a card to a lady in Melbourne whom I know as an old eBay customer. Dropping three in the postbox at once was very satisfying.

A friend took her stepmother to the doctor to get antibiotics for a UTI and the doc said that there is a vaccine out for that problem. Last I read of it many months ago it hadn’t been approved for use in Australia but it seems that it’s a possibility now. I shall bend Bob’s ear about it next time I’m there.

I had a couple of other things I wanted to talk about but they’ve gone, a problem that seems to be happening more frequently lately. Add that to my rapid failure to do mental arithmetic and it adds up to……let’s not go there.

August 7, 2024

Today was John’s hospital day and we left Gracewood at 8.30 because he always needs a blood test before seeing the haematologist, who was coming to visit him while he was having his IgG infusion. But when we got there the lovely Filipe rang her and she said she didn’t need a blood test today so then we were quite early. I waited with John till his treatment was due to start and then decided to go to the State Library which had a photographic exhibition on with some entries from our friend Paul’s daughter. Trotted off down William St and then decided to cut across the back of the cathedral and through the Domain, a fair walk. Unfortunately the exhibition was catalogued on big cardboard folders of which there were only three and mine had the pages after the 1990s missing, nothing was attached to the pics on the wall. After hoping that one or other of the only two people there might finish with theirs in a reasonable time, it was obvious that they were there for the duration so I gave up and wandered to Hyde Park. By then my dodgy foot was really grumbling, even more so after I walked down the stairs to St. James station to get a train to Kings Cross, but discovered that they go on a different line so I had to climb back out. By now I could barely walk on my dodgy foot but was too mean to taxi it back to Darlo, so eventually I found a bus going there, with an enjoyable Cooks tour of Woolloomooloo and Elizabeth Bay included. Walking back from Kings Cross I was feeling a tad peckish and stopped to read the menu at a Filipino Street Food shop but deciding between a fertilised duck egg, chicken entrails, pork intestines and pig’s ears convinced me that I was actually more thirsty than hungry so I kept walking and fell back on the old fave, a vanilla milkshake instead. Usually John calls me when they are doing the flush after the infusion so I can get to the door in the next 15-20 minutes to pick him up, but he phoned me to say he was on the footpath outside Kinghorn and why wasn’t I in sight? I raced there and when I asked later why he had departed from our usual practice (of 3 or 4 years) he replied that he didn’t remember what we normally did so he just went outside and was then anxious when I wasn’t there. The oddest thing though was that the doctor came while he was in the loo and didn’t wait, leaving a message that she’d see him next month!

I have been very nervous about the results of the auction which I had recommended to someone selling off the contents of a large house to go to a unit. I checked right up to 6 pm on Sunday night, an hour before it was due to end and the results were so appalling that I decided to stop watching. However I thought I needed to ring and apologise for the disaster, but she’s over the moon. The 12 seater dining table which was $20 at 6 pm was $3000 by 7 and the 12 matching chairs which were $20 for the lot at 6 went for $3500. Apparently the bids were coming in so thick and fast at the end that they extended the auction, much to the angst of the underbidders I would imagine! Anyway all her things went well and I am off the hook and on the pedestal now, phew.

August 8, 2024

Well after a month of on again off again foot pain I was forced to seek an appointment with Bob for later today as walking has become very difficult. I hope his answer isn’t a physiotherapist because if so I will just grin and bear the pain as I don’t have much faith in them through past experience.

This new pharmacy servicing Gracewood is a pain in the neck. Despite cancelling all of John’s supplements from them I got an invoice for a Blackmore’s product yesterday. I replied saying that it had been cancelled but he is arguing the toss. However Cecilia had confirmed to me on July 20 that she had organised cancellation of all supplements and the product he mentioned in his reply was a different one to the the one he had charged for. Perhaps they are sampling some of their products, she says with gritted teeth. I wish we could go back to the old pharmacy but apparently that’s not an option.

I got caught out financially by another company this week but it was rectified by Apple. For years I have used the free PlantSnap app to identify plants, getting five free queries per month, though I only used 1 or 2. The other day I couldn’t quite make it work, try as I might, and then it told me to put my finger on a particular spot on the screen only to see a message pop up to say that I’d enrolled for unlimited snaps at $29.99 for a year. I immediately contacted Apple who only a day later organised a refund of my money. The app was promptly deleted from my phone! Clever, but no cigar in this instance you cheeky buggers.

I have pretty much given up on walking across Old Northern Rd due to the heavy traffic, but yesterday I came close to having an accident there with a pedestrian. I had pulled up behind a bus which had stopped to take on passengers, looked in my rear vision mirror and then pulled out around the bus. I was shocked to see a bloke suddenly appear, running across the road to get the bus. Luckily he saw me just in time and stopped in the centre of the road, but it could have been very nasty if cars had been coming the other way or if I hadn’t seen him just in time.

August 9, 2024

I could have leapt through the teev last night to congratulate Paul Keating who was ranting about AUKUS, our partnership with the ‘aggressive US’, China and more. I had had a discussion last week with a friend of a friend on exactly these issues but he is of the opposing view, seeing the US as our saviours. Paul’s comments were like a rerun of my arguments in that conversation. And while I’m on the hustings, I deplore the decision by the US ambassador to Japan to skip this year’s memorial service for the nuclear attack on Nagasaki because Israel is not invited. The US dropped the bloody bomb! They should be there on bended knees. Of course our government has copied the gutless American position, the 51st state of the US as always.

My trip to Bob yesterday was helpful in that he ordered an X-ray that confirmed plantar fasciitis but also found calcification in the heel bone. I’ve never had it before, so it was a coincidence after another person’s momentous struggle with PF. I was glad when Bob specified not to ‘get involved with podiatrists or physiotherapists’. I hadn’t asked the question because I didn’t want it to appear as if I was interested in going to them, but he warned me off the option anyway. We see eye to eye on most things but I was still pleased about his advice, restrict walking for a while, buy lace-up shoes with soft soles and wait was the counsel.

Anne’s letter of this week was disturbing on a number of counts but particularly in respect of my brother’s drop in cognition. She travels there by two long bus rides across country which he asks her about in detail each time, but after being told repeatedly last week he asked ‘did you come on the Tube?’. Then she overheard him asking a staff ‘who is that woman? has she been to see me before?’ this after about 40 years of a close relationship. She keeps going bless her, but how long she will keep it up remains to be seen as she’s not in good health herself and is in her 80s. I checked for the last email to me from one of his daughters (my nieces haha) regarding his condition, it was December 2 2023, so I don’t even bother asking any more and rely on Anne for a truthful assessment of the circumstances.

August 10, 2024

John has expressed the desire a couple of times to go to a park but I didn’t feel like driving far, so we tried Nurragingy at Doonside. Native gardens, a Chinese garden, a marsh, deciduous trees, heaps of birds, a really lovely spot. Wearing lace-up shoes as instructed and it was much easier to walk. I knew there was a reason I was holding on to those ugly 25 year old joggers, now I know what it was. Joggers really are the ugliest footwear so unless I suddenly want to take up running I shan’t be happy wearing them, but joggers versus pain is no contest. The modern idea of joggers with a dress is just not on as far as I’m concerned, but perhaps they all have something wrong with their feet.

I put a few bits on eBay yesterday and now I’ve had a sale, but I’d accidentally listed it as Buy-it-Now instead of auction, grrr, but I got $10 and tomorrow he will pick up so I’ll be rid of the thing. It was a boxed set of stencils of the alphabet and numbers, something a woodworker might use to do signs for example. How did I get such a thing? what did I pay for it? I wouldn’t have a clue. The rest of the lots are clip-on earrings so I’ve notified the person who bought a lot of them from me last year. He’s a dealer online who only sells clip-on earrings, a niche market indeed.

I’ve had another win with the pharmacy who does John’s meds, they’ve finally agreed to remove the last item that they billed him for, a Blackmore’s supplement that he doesn’t take. They must rue the day that the bill goes out, knowing I’m going to argue but eventually they will learn to get it right. I would never get anything from wretched Blackmore, financer of the No case for the referendum and much else on the wrong side of politics (yes, yes I know Blackmore himself retired but I can still punish the company).

August 11, 2024

Well the lovely Keith came to pick up his stencils and he was bearing a bottle of wine because I let him have them at a mistaken price. What a sweet man, you get such lovely people on eBay and some not quite so lovely ones on Facebook Marketplace. Inspired I have sorted out some of the costume jewellery that came with the clip-on earrings and have put one listing of necklaces on as well as a job lot of broken jewellery which could be useful to a craftsperson or jewellery maker.

Darling John gets more and more confused, repeatedly asking me if he’s staying the night and packing his bag when he’s not going till the next day. Yesterday I told him repeatedly that the family day wasn’t happening due to illness but after we went out and enjoyed the park he wanted ‘to get changed before they come’. It’s strange that he both forgets the right story and simultaneously remembers the wrong one. But he’s doing a lot better than others so I’m not complaining.

Well who does one trust in an argument between Mark Latham and Peter V’landys? Neither is the short answer. Both are unpleasant people but V’landys outranks even the irksome Latham. Whatever sport he is involved with he is loud, vexatious and a bully I’m sure. I’m hoping they lose Rosehill Racecourse and fail to find another, but that’s wishful thinking with those deep-pocketed racing types who will fight the government to the hilt.

I have never had a police officer come to my door armed with a bottle of gin. I would be shocked if this occurred, just as I am shocked that the police are handing out liqueur to anyone else. On what basis? None that I can think of. But I have a sneaking suspicion that the gin wouldn’t have drawn any attention at all if the police commissioner were male. I suspect that it is part of a bigger pile-on intended to remove Karen Webb, with the Murdoch press always howling about her.

August 12, 2024

It’s been an eBay day so far, first with my buyer from yesterday getting back in touch to tell me the time that his grandson did in the City to Surf. He’s going to make him a wooden sign commemorating the run and the time using the stencils he bought from me. He asked me for an email address to send a photo when it’s done, it’s always tricky doing that as eBay’s AI blocks messages with personal details, but I was able to get it through using the word ‘at’ instead of @ and leaving out the dots. Now I want a sign saying that I beat AI, but I suspect it won’t be long before it will be able to beat my little ploy. The morning was spent listing numerous necklaces and brooches from the big collection of jewellery I bought so many years ago. It wasn’t a shop thing as I decided they were too downmarket, despite being pretty, but I did buy furniture from the same man whose wife had just died. He was so keen to be rid of the jewellery that I bought it personally but never got around to selling it. He had a disabled adult daughter who was interjecting things like ‘will you give us a thousand dollars for them?’ and so I weakened, but not to the point of $1000 or anything like it!

Heather reports that every year random Japanese people turn up to photograph the cherry blossom tree in her front yard, and they have returned again this year. Some things just resonate with us emotionally and cherry blossoms certainly do with the Japanese. They symbolise life and death in that culture, the coming of spring promising new life. At the same time, their short lifespan is a reminder that life is fleeting.  Mono no aware is their expression born over 1,000 years ago that refers to a feeling of awe and sadness for the transience of life and the impermanence of things. Note to self: take John to the Auburn Botanic Gardens where I think the cherry blossoms should be out.

John told me this morning that the usual bus tour was definitely on so I advised him what to wear, something he’s been needing lately, but unfortunately when he tried to go down to the bus he was shooed back into his room as the lockdown is still in force. He had been going on the printed weekly event sheet, not a personal communication, so he was naturally disappointed. I will take him out on Thursday, perhaps to the Auburn Gardens, which might make up for it a bit.

August 13, 2024

What a gutless decision by Albo et al regarding gambling ads. The end result is more addiction, therefore more fraud, more bankruptcy, more domestic violence, more suicide. If one of the commercial channels folds then so be it, the other two will then be brought back to profitability perhaps. It’s dangerous to go against a policy that 80% of the public supports. While I’m on the rantan here’s one for Minimal Minns: Anzac Day is not a religious festival, and even if it were there are many religions in Australia these days. Those of us who are not rusted on supporters of Anzac Day are being encouraged to spend the day at a march, playing two-up (hang the fact that it’s illegal!), getting pissed and being objectionable as a result. Anzac Day was the worst day of the year in my shop because of all the drunken yobbos on the street who couldn’t find Turkey on a map, even with a gun to their heads.

John is finally out of lockdown today after 10 days. There was a residents meeting this afternoon but neither he nor his friend Neville could understand the accent of the speaker so they didn’t have a clue what it was about and left. I baked a couple of things in the morning, something I haven’t been doing enough of lately. Then did some more work on eBay, sold a collection of earrings today for $20, went to Pine Coffee and Tea for more Russian Caravan and they gave me a sample of Lapsang Souchong as they know I like smoky teas, went to the pharmacy and stocked up on the drug supply, went to the Post Office, pretty exciting day? No, not really. I decided to look up Lapsang Souchong and discovered that Twinings can’t get it and have brought out a copy marketed as “Distinctively Smoky, Inspired by Lapsang Souchong”. Mmm sounds dodgy as well as smoky. Sue loves my Russian Caravan tea and so she bought the Twinings version and was very disappointed, now I get it for her at Pine. Their comment today was ‘we have three different Lapsangs but we’ll give you the smokiest one’. I’ll try it with John at the weekend.

August 14, 2024

The Melbourne Symphony Orchestra just cancelled the pianist Jayson Gillham because he played a piece ‘dedicated to Palestinian journalists killed in Gaza’ in his previous performance. They then sent out an email to those who were to attend his upcoming concert in two days on why they cancelled him, including: “The MSO was at no point made aware of the content of the remarks Mr Gillham was intending to make. They were made completely without authority. The MSO understands that his remarks have caused offence and distress and offers a sincere apology. It has been a priority for us to address this difficult situation today”. Since when does an artist need to have their comments scrutinised in advance of a performance? This follows on the heels of the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital removing a display of artwork on plates, done by children from Gaza. Lawyers intervened on behalf of ‘some Jewish patients who said they felt vulnerable and victimised by the display’. This whole thing reminds me of what I’ve read about life in the Netherlands before the invasion by the Nazis, when people were charged by their own government with offences related to their spoken or published criticism of the Nazis, for fear of upsetting the German government. Of course the Germans invaded anyway, just what the laws were trying to prevent. Giving in to bullies never works, never.

Today I was talking to an acquaintance who suddenly announced, apropos of nothing, that last week she was told by her family that she was adopted, she is 82 or 3. I don’t know her well, and she didn’t know that I was adopted, but she said she was brought up by a very strict and unloving mother. She has no idea who her family was and doesn’t know if she wants to find out, it’s all too new, but it has put her childhood into context. I’ve heard of late discovery but that one takes the cake. Although I didn’t speak of my experience and it was a short conversation, it came to mind once again that blood is everything. I thought my ex-husband’s family would become my own, haha to that. His mother positively loathed the spouses of her four children and never missed an opportunity to let us all know that, having nasty pet names for each of us. Later in life another opportunity for a family presented itself and proved to be a bigger disaster than the first. In both cases I foolishly tried to appease the bullies in the hope of some acceptance, if not a warm relationship. As I said in another context, giving in to bullies never works.

August 15, 2024

Today I picked John up on the way to getting the car serviced and then took a loan car (how I hate driving other people’s cars, constantly expecting a disaster to befall the bloody thing, but the only problem was not being able to work out how to turn off the heated driver’s seat!). We went as planned to Auburn Botanic Gardens to see the cherry blossoms two days before the big crowds arrive and a hefty fee is charged to get in. There were in fact moderate crowds and every single person bar us was Asian, perhaps Japanese I’m not sure, but quite possibly Chinese or Koreans too. There were busloads of people, many in matching hats and some even with matching windcheaters and hats, which made me wonder if they could be cruise passengers as who buys someone a quality coat and a hat for a day trip? Anyway the grounds looked beautiful, the waterfalls were a delight and the cherry blossoms were out on cue. The food stalls hadn’t opened yet but I took cheese and crackers, nuts and mandarins with a cupcake for John so that did us as lunch. On the way back we were early for picking the car up so I pulled in to Granville for a looksee. It is even more depressing and down at heel than it was when I travelled there every day during high school and early years of work, getting the bus from there to Guildford morning and night. But I noted that the fruit shop’s navel oranges were $1.49 a kilo instead of $5.99 at Castle Hill so I bought some as well as carrots. Much of the produce was suited to the tastes of the locals with great piles of okra, bitter melon and the like with not a pea, a bean or a bunch of broccolini in sight. I always like to leave some money in a place that I stop to visit, but the going was pretty hard in Granville. We arrived back to Alex and I paid for my ‘service’ but I must admit that I expected to be paying a number with a 2 in the front rather than a 7, though he had rung me for approval to fix a couple of extra things. I do wonder though if services used to include ‘washing down the motor’ and ‘lubricating all the door locks and catches’. He assures me the next one should be a cheapie, I should hope so.

August 17, 2024

My spirits have been lifted by the debacle of the Liberal Party failing to nominate their candidates. But now as expected they are going to the courts with all the excuses they can muster. What is the point of having a deadline if they let them off? One Northern Beaches candidate survived by putting in his own nomination, he is a newbie and didn’t know that the office does it normally so he is the lucky duck candidate for the Liberals. If they succeed in court then the power of the electoral commission will be reduced as a result, with the extreme consequence being that the staff find out who is going to stand on the day and write the ballot papers in pencil as the voters are walking in. The deadline is there for a reason.

Also pleased to see that the members of the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra have ‘by overwhelming majority’ passed a vote of no confidence in senior management as a result of their cancellation of a concert, due to the pianist’s stated dedication of a piece to ‘the journalists of Gaza’. This artificial attempt to link every sympathy expressed about the war to anti-Semitism is almost McCarthyist in its scope. Just as Katherine Deves and her many acolytes spend their time searching for a drag queen or a trans person to vilify, the pro-Netanyahu camp does the same, looking for any sign of sympathy towards Gazans and pouncing on it.

But in my kitchen Jews, Gazans, drag queens and trans folks are all welcome so I’ve enjoyed making a carrot, beetroot and walnut salad as part of our dinner tonight and icing a mandarin cake to take to Erko tomorrow. The cake has mandarin peel in it and segments of mandarin all over the top, which adds a nice burst of flavour as you bite through them. John is now washing up the mountain of mess I’ve made doing that and making lunch. John, while eating lunch: If somebody asks me what I had for lunch what should I say? Me: Say mushroom risotto John: Oh good.

Apparently a friend of a friend who was recently diagnosed with dementia has now been found to be suffering instead from long Covid. This on top of recent research that shows that existing dementia patients worsen after Covid and “older adults who have had Covid infections are at a higher risk of cognitive decline as compared to matched healthy adults or individuals who have had other respiratory diseases. The risk of new-onset dementia was found to be one of the long-term outcomes of COVID-19 infection”. Note it is not severe infection they mention here, just infection. Perhaps my inability to do mental arithmetic for the last few years is Covid linked rather than a precursor symptom of dementia after all?

August 18, 2024

I am a constant note jotter: things to write to the papers about; book review notes; feedback positive and negative to businesses I’ve used; things I need to add to the blog. But lately I am having trouble working out what the devil the notes are about, today trying to figure out ‘private gaol apc’; ‘paracetamol empathy’; ‘swift community’; ‘Coles we’; ‘man and dog’. I couldn’t work them out so I’ll delete them, but I’m sure they were very important when written. Blame Covid, my convenient new excuse for everything.

A Sydney teacher charged with sexual offences with a number of her male students is in the news. It reminded me of being with a group of women (maybe a school group when the kids were little, I’m not sure). One of them, a married PE teacher in her 30s at the most prestigious school in Sydney if not Australia, casually told us that she was ‘having a relationship’ with a year 11 student at the all boys school ‘I’m training him and we go running after school and just happen to stop off at my place as we go past’ she said. Although I think everyone was shocked, no one said a word and it would never have occurred to any of us to talk to the police. Had the teacher been male and the student female it wouldn’t have come out in discussion in the way that it did in this case. I think that reflects the difference 40 years makes in how we look at these things.

Apparently the owners of White Fox have spent $120 million on four properties in Vaucluse and are currently seeking permission to demolish three of them to make way for a mega mansion on the site. The mind boggles. How do the previous owners of these homes feel to know that they will be turned into rubble. I would be devastated to see that happen to my humble cottage, but perhaps it’s just real estate to them more than a home.

August 19, 2024

So not a great start to the morning as I fell in the garden and toppled into my rose bush, the thorniest one I have ever seen anywhere, which had just been pruned last weekend. The result was that I was pinioned between two thorn-ridden upright stalks and couldn’t get out! I decided to wait for a passing person to help but on-one came so I was force to deal with it myself as I had Anzac biscuits in the oven. I gingerly pulled one branch away and pushed myself up, ending up with a row of thorns in one side of my hand and arm and a few gashes in the other as well as a skinned knee. Sitting on the front verandah pulling out thorns and getting over the fall and the postman arrived with my new ‘old lady shoes’ which had finally worked their way through the postal system but he took one look and retreated without a word, as if an old lady dripping blood was either quite usual or else more than he could deal with first thing in the morning. Second fall in the garden in the last few weeks, but if anyone tells me to join a gym I shall inform them that no, I truly enjoy falling more than going to a gym.

On the last bus tour I took note of the passengers’ footwear: one man with shorts and thongs on a cold wet day and nine women in either joggers or orthopaedic shoes In one case I noticed that the shoes were quite different to each other, custom made for her dodgy feet, at considerable expense I would imagine. Although I gave up wearing heels long ago I still like nice shoes and unfortunately bought two pairs from my pal at The Entrance a few months back. Neither pair has come out its box as they were waiting for summer, here’s hoping I can wear them by then.

Saw Peter Regan, head of Sydney Metro, on the early news today rightly basking in the success of the mega project that he has overseen, right back to Berejiklian days. I well remember a long lunchtime barbecue at his home overlooking the harbour, was it Naremburn or Longueville, something like that. He and his wife can certainly put on a party and somewhere I still have the cards I was given by an Indian man who was on Blacktown Council (‘if ever I can do anything for you don’t hesitate to ring’ and a professor from the University of Notre Dame with whom I debated gaols and capital punishment at length. We agreed on the fact that gaols needed a complete makeover in terms of putting the focus on rehabilitation but he argued that capital punishment was kinder than a life sentence. I reminded him that his church has a policy of ‘Thou shalt not kill’ but he didn’t seem to think that was a problem in the same way that the church is so anti contraception but takes no stand against war. Anyway we had a good slog and followed it up later by email but neither of us budged in our positions. I do remember his comment that when he took medical students to Lithgow Gaol they often commented that ‘the inmates seem just like us’ which is the point of my arguments: we either attempt rehabilitation where there’s any chance of that working or else if they are so mentally damaged that they can never be returned to the community we put them in a secure but lovely funny farm somewhere with good food, activities to amuse them and medical care.

August 20, 2024

A month or more ago Gracewood asked me to sign for a drug called Aricept that John takes for Alzheimer’s, as it is psychotropic, but why I hadn’t needed to sign for it before is another question. I thought I was told by the neurologist that it only works for a year so I didn’t have the information I needed to answer the question. I thought I was clever to ask the neurologist by email for the answer, but she said that she needed to speak to him to make a decision and that conference was set up as a video call today. No link came through so luckily I phoned, only to be told that I should have organised a referral, grrr why didn’t you tell me that a month ago I said sotto voce. A hurried text to Bob should have fixed that I hope.

It was so lovely to see the enthusiasm of the crowds who gathered at some god-awful time of the morning to celebrate the opening of the M1 rail link yesterday. (Why would they name it the same way as a highway? No I don’t know either, but it’s very confusing if you say you to someone that you are arriving on the M1). I am all for celebrating anything, but I probably (actually definitely) wouldn’t get up at 3 am to do it, but all power to those folks who did.

I am like the walking wounded at the moment with one sore foot, the opposite knee bruised and one arm very painful after the rose bush altercation. John changed the bandage for me which is damned awkward to do on your own. Suddenly I’ve gone to being an old lady and I don’t like it! Luckily I can still drive with no problems, though turning my left arm is more difficult than yesterday.

Eventually the video link with Dr. Massey materialised and we had a good three-way discussion, the upshot of which was that she considers it possible that the relatively slow progression of his disease is due to the Aricept, so she wants him to stay on it. I’m glad we went through the process. She says there are newer drugs available for Alzheimer’s but they are not yet approved by the TGA but she will contact us if that approval happens.

August 21, 2024

Went to sewing group at Louise’s with only Martha and Gaby attending. It was lovely sitting outside as it was unseasonably warm. I opened a jar of Pickled Watermelon Rind to go on a cheese plate I took and found it quite addictive, I’m still picking tiny bits off it off the empty platter now I’m at home.

Dr Massey’s rooms sent a bill for John’s consultation yesterday, $740 ($370 plus $370 outstanding) which I had a fit about, but when I rang it was actually an error so the payment was reduced by half thankfully.

Our friend Kevin has finally seen an end to his suffering and died yesterday. What a hard death mesothelioma is. It wasn’t even possible to speak to him for the last few weeks as he was too breathless to respond. Vale good man.

August 22, 2024

Why do I wake so early every time I set an alarm? I set it for 6 am and woke up at 4.30, apparently to make sure that I hadn’t slept in, which is just silly. It happens every time, though but I can’t undo the brain program. I arrived at Erko early for the school Book Week parade and open day. Some of the costumes were amazing including the one on our girl, but I am so out of touch with the books of this generation that I hardly recognised what character they were imitating. We are very lucky that there is such a good school nearby.

So let’s say that two men are on trial for fraud involving billions of dollars and after a 12 month trial they are acquitted. Then one dies in a yachting accident alongside his lawyer and a witness in the trial. A couple of days earlier the other accused dies in an unrelated motor accident, killed when hit by a car while out running. So both defendants dead, the lawyer and his wife dead and the witness and his wife dead. If this trial were in Russia everyone and his poodle would be telling us that it can’t possibly be a coincidence, and we would believe it, but sometimes extraordinary coincidences happen. I do wonder if we will see a slew of theories that agents of Hewlett Packard were working overtime? It is a tragedy all round but I will be very interested in what the authorities make of the cause of the sinking. Apparently the mast of the yacht was the highest ever built and one theory is that when it snapped the sheer weight of it in the water pulled the boat into such an angle that the ocean flooded in to doors and hatches left open in the heat. I know zip about boats but it seems logical. So what were the final words of the lawyer in a post about the acquittal before he went onto the ship: “And they all lived happily ever after…”

August 23, 2024

I was always planning to attend the sentencing hearing of the Justin Stein case today, along with my new friend Pam, but last night when I was dog-tired I discovered that it was in the city and not in Parramatta where the case was heard. In conversation last night with Pam (88 years old and full of go) I intimated that I may have to rely on press coverage as I’d spent the day in the city yesterday. However she unintentionally shamed me into going because nothing was going to stop her getting on the new Metro and heading in to town. I am glad to have her positive influence as she abashes me when I think something is going to be too hard and makes me believe that I may have another ten years of useful and enjoyable life after all. The summing up by ‘Mr Crown’ as the judge calls him (though she calls the defence barrister by her name) indicated that he believes this murder is in the worst case category and should deserve a life sentence. Defence had little positive to say except that it wasn’t planned in advance. I believe, on the basis of the judge’s questions, her comments, her body language and facial expressions that she will give him a life sentence, if not a never to be released one. Interestingly I was saying this to Pam afterwards in the court corridor when the defence solicitor was walking past and surprisingly he entered the conversation with the words ‘I think you are dead right, that is what we are expecting’. I’m guessing he feels freer to speak to outsiders now it’s in the judge’s hands, but I was still surprised by his comments. Although Stein has neither confessed nor explained what happened, I believe that he attempted to or did sexually molest the child who ran away to escape him, during which time he shot her twice and killed her with the second shot. She had his anti-psychotic medication in her bloodstream which could have been given to subdue her. I doubt we will ever know the answer for sure and it will be interesting to see if the judge speculates. Two peripheral matters from the day: Mr Crown’s robes fall down around his arms every time he gets up to speak and it annoys me, as it must annoy him, I’m thinking of buying him a safety pin and more importantly the balustrade to the spiral staircase up to the second floor of this beautiful heritage building is not legal, it barely comes up to my hip bone and considering my recent penchant for falling I held on to rail on the opposite side. But a tall person would be even more at risk and I’m amazed that they haven’t had to install a second higher railing which they did in the QVB, but only after a boy fell to his death.

Finished rereading J. D. Vance’s book Hillbilly Elegy and, just as the first reading, I enjoyed it immensely. There is a lot of thoughtful observation of people and society that makes me think that he’s no fool, so his support of Trump may just be politically convenient, perhaps hoping that the next assassin will be a better shot and he would end up as president? However towards the end of the book he is heading further towards religion and three years after it was published he adopted Catholicism. Raised evangelical, then briefly atheist, Vance was baptized Catholic in 2019. He has supported efforts in state legislatures to have schools display the Ten Commandments, has opposed no-fault divorce, and opposes support for transgender people. He supports Project 2025’s plan to criminalize porn, supports legal challenges to get prayer in public schools as well as being fiercely anti-abortion. Remembering John’s words from the past about Tony Abbott that he ‘wants to go back to the Middle Ages’, Vance as well as Abbott would like to push ‘classical education’ in schools and universities as well as reintroducing the Latin mass so it appears as if his latterly espoused views are more closely related to his conversion to Catholicism than to his ‘hillbilly’ extended family.

August 24, 2024

For the third Saturday in a row I took John to a park for a walk. First to Nurragingy, the next week to the cherry blossom festival and today to Fagan Park, the biggest of them and a really lovely space. Loved seeing the trees covered in lichen and listening to the whip birds in particular. Took some fruit, cheese and crackers and enjoyed morning tea au plein air. In the afternoon we made potato salad with anchovies and capers and carrot salad, the latter with some pickled watermelon rind and currants which prompted John to say that he was looking forward to First Saturday here tonight. He was quite surprised to find it was just part of our dinner ‘who’s coming?’ he asked, to which I replied ‘you’.

Since buying my old lady orthopaedic shoes online I have been deluged on Facebook every day with ads for all manner of shoes, all flat laceups. Seeing I didn’t buy them from a Facebook ad but from their website it just shows that every keystroke is monitored somehow, somewhere. I never usually buy things online but this purchase has been simple and foolproof considering I payed with Paypal who will refund if you are not happy, though the company offered free exchange or refund themselves, so I would deal with Axign again.

In years past I often went to see the Festival of Dangerous Ideas at the Opera House, but now it’s at Carriageworks which is so much more difficult to get to from here. The other reason that I am not going this time is that the ideas have become less and less dangerous, really most were pretty mainstream like The Case for Not Having Children for example. Perhaps in this cancel culture environment the fear of outrage keeps the lid on anything too dangerous, they certainly haven’t made me desperate to go as in past years.

The article in the Good Weekend recently on Michael Klim and his rare autoimmune condition was interesting to me as I’d tried to remember which disease a lecturer at the forensic science course had. Now I recognise it was CIPD or chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy, something I never would have forgotten once. He was on crutches and really had to heave himself around, he didn’t seem long out of a wheelchair. I don’t understand why it affects just the leg muscles, something else to read up on.

August 25, 2024

I have been seriously considering going on my own to Bowral for the Tulip Festival, but going just before it formally starts, to beat the crowds and the higher accommodation costs. I decided to mention it to John to see his reaction and he was somewhat disappointed, so I have rethought the plan and now I will take him as well. My concern was partly that last time we went there he thought that I had moved him to a different nursing home and was very concerned that it was too far away for me to visit him. But the counter argument is that he is currently the best that he will ever be, so I just need to keep explaining that it’s a holiday and everything will go back to normal afterwards.

Tomorrow is the Stein sentencing which I am looking forward to in one way, but also sad about. No winners there, particularly sad for the grandparents who made what proved to be a life-changing decision with the very best of intentions. He commented on Friday that some family members still blame him and his wife and he doubts that the family rift will ever be righted. He is also divorced from his daughter for understandable reasons. Also Stein is schizophrenic which complicates things as how do we know what that feels like and what lapses of judgment accompany it, but you can’t let someone with his criminal history out on the street. I mentioned schizophrenia in another context last week at a social gathering and someone there arced up immediately and defended schizophrenics from criticism, saying that her son suffered with the condition but was a gentle soul. I’m sure that is true, but I did have two shop customers with the condition and I was afraid of both of them. One subsequently assaulted and injured a stranger while waiting to see a doctor at Windsor Hospital emergency and the other became very aggressive when I wouldn’t buy something he had picked up at a charity shop. I was on my own on a quiet Saturday afternoon and had to grit my teeth through the verbal abuse and ignore him as he revved up and down the street at speed to punish me for my sins. Two out of two (not counting the many in court proceedings) has made me wary.

August 26, 2024

The sentencing comments for Justin Stein’s murder charge went from 11.30 am to 1 pm, during which he sat placidly (I see the Daily Mail reporter said nervously, but I didn’t see any sign of that). What was going on in his mind, knowing even before she spoke that he would serve somewhere between 25 years and his whole life in gaol? I can’t even imagine, but he showed no reaction at all. Perhaps he was medicated. The judge listed his sad and troubled life in a very well off family, attending Cranbrook (where he was expelled in year 9 for abusing the headmaster) and Kings. He told a psychologist that he started using drugs at age 11, was on heroin by 15, and reported a poor relationship with his father. He has had repeated charges involving drugs, including some leading to gaol sentences, and has entered Odyssey House and numerous private hospitals for treatment for addiction. He claims that he uses drugs because they ‘block out the voices’ yet none of his psychiatric reports definitively mention schizophrenia. However an ambulance officer who took him to hospital reported him ‘talking to people who weren’t there’. The judge was quite critical of the most recent reports done this year while he was in prison, where a big section of the report seemed to have been cut and pasted from one done in gaol in 2017. What a total waste of a life, before we even get to his victim’s short life. There were a number of her relatives present, yet they didn’t sit together, nor did they speak at the end of proceedings, family rift indeed. I feel very sad for them but also sad for Justin at just 33, in some ways it would be kinder to let him die.

August 27, 2024

My Melbourne friend Antonia, whom I’ve never met but I think is about the same age as me, commented on my email in which I told her that I had fallen into a rose bush: ‘First of all, you didn’t fall, old people fall, you tripped on a stone, slipped on a banana peel, but never ever say fall’. She always gives me a good laugh. It’s true that medical people get a certain look about them when they ask the question ‘do you ever fall?’ I think it goes on a register somewhere and counts against you in the future. 

I seem to always be doing surveys, but I continue in the hope that it will change policy somewhere down the line. Every Wednesday I do the SMH one, just four questions with the results published the following Saturday. Yesterday I got a Morgan Poll set of questions by email and one was ‘If you got a $3000 bill tomorrow, how would you pay it?’ Answers ranged from savings, which I ticked, to credit card, get a loan, sell some possessions, and on down the line probably including murdering your granny for the dough, but I didn’t go as far as the end. Then at 1 am my burglar alarm company texted to say that they had lost communication with the alarm system, so this morning I rang them and they talked about 4G and the age of the alarm (this one went in in 2011) and the fact that at the last free service the technician had disconnected the outside warning light and siren as it was cactus. I decided to get the whole thing replaced rather than keep paying for service calls when it malfunctions, as it did a couple of months ago. Well there ain’t much change out of $3000 so I think they paid Morgan to see if I were in a position to cough up the dough!

August 29, 2024

Got a call from Kiama only to find that it was an ‘epidemic warning’ with some dame asking me to choose a language via the keyboard in which to hear all about it. I just don’t have time for an epidemic in my life right now so I hung up and will never know what dire end was going to befall me.

Silly Albo has buckled to Julian Leeser’s request for an inquiry into anti-semitism, but the definition of anti-semitism includes any criticism of Israel. As Leeser well knows, and Albo should know, Judaism and Zionism are not the same things and there are many Jews who are not supporters of the current Israeli government and support a Palestinian state. The gall of even asking for an inquiry with those terms astonishes me, but Albo is more to blame than Leeser who just tried it on and got lucky.

I have collected so many Spring leaves and flowers for pressing that I am running out of containers to put them in. The solution of course is to make cards with them as intended, but there never seems to be a day when I can just sit down and do it, certainly there were none in this week and the next few days are spoken for.

Baking cakes today, one for book group tomorrow and another for lunch on Saturday. The Swiss Chestnut and Hazelnut one suggests dusting the top with cocoa, ugh I don’t fancy that, but I can blow it off I guess or eat somebody else’s cake. The second is an Apple Cake, a lemon and almond kuchen with 12 quarter apples sliced part through Hasselback style and pushed into the top. I thought that the apples would be somewhat more cooked than they are, so I may need to serve it as a warm cake or pudding with a quick burst in the microwave to finish cooking the apples, though I notice that the picture looks just the same as mine so perhaps a bit if resistance in the fruit was intended.

August 30, 2024

It is dear Kevin’s funeral today but I am not up to going so I’ve arranged for John to have a computer brought to his room and set up before it starts at 10.30. He asked whether he will be able to speak to people but I explained that it’s just visual for him with no feedback. When I thought it through there are few of his friends left to attend, with one in Melbourne and one currently in New York, but he knows Pat who is the priest doing the service very well. Pat was a school friend of Kevin’s since kindergarten, it must be a hugely emotional task for him.

Reading about the PFAS chemicals in Medlow Dam in the Blue Mountains reminded me of staying with the family in a motel in Blackheath when the kids were about 4 or 5. We drank tap water as usual but I turned on the local radio station as we drove away to hear them constantly reminding people not to drink out of any tap due to a giardia infestation in Medlow Dam. No one at the motel had told us and I didn’t think about it much until I became violently ill a few days later and remained so for the next couple of weeks. Oddly no one else in the family caught it but I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, well perhaps I can think of a few people I’d wish it on now I think about it…….

Someone told me that you can turn on your phone’s light just by saying Hey Siri Lumos and it bloody works! I don’t even use Siri so it was a surprise, to turn it off you just say Nox. I guess it is through this sort of thing that mobile phones are tapped? I pity any poor cop being tasked to listen to my conversations for days or months. I still cringe thinking about poor William Tyrrell’s foster parents (poor William, not poor foster parents by the way) who were taped non-stop for 14 months in every room of their house, in both their cars and on their mobiles. All of this was transcribed as evidence, fascinating but creepy job that must be. I’m sure it must somehow have been done remotely as how would their Turramurra neighbours not notice a team of overalled bobbies breaking into the house to set up the bugs? The tapes were played in part at the court hearings for each of them for intimidation of a child and for assault. They were pretty shocking stuff, I felt intimidated just listening in the safety of a court. They are both control freaks, very dominant and scary people even to an adult. That poor child must have been damaged beyond repair to put up with that behaviour for years, prior to the police reporting them to FACS who immediately removed her.

September 1, 2024

Johnstuff: John is noticeably weaker, puffing just walking up my driveway from the back yard to the front when we were doing some watering this morning, also finding it hard to bend over or kneel down, just in a week. Seems strange, but I guess changes have to happen sometime, however his spirit and optimism remain the same.

The story of the poor folks stuck in the space station till next February after expecting to be there for just a few days reinforces my decision not to become an astronaut. I can’t even imagine the sense of terror, of claustrophobia, that situation would induce. I guess people are prepared for that sort of option but even so it must occur to them that they may never come down.

Loved the article in the Good Weekend about the Sydney marble sculptor Alex Seton. While I wasn’t over the moon about his rendition of a drop toilet, I absolutely loved the life jackets and the folded flags, just superb. Next time I go to Canberra I will visit both, though actually I remember now that the life jackets are in Adelaide, equals plane trip, equals unlikely, but never say never.

In another article on Rwanda, Blood and Toil, there was a monumental quote about their civil war and the monstrous genocide of 80,000 Tutsis: “The West knew what was happening, had been called on to help, and effectively did nothing – in fact, worse than nothing, because United Nations forces were on standby with a mandate to act but, for reasons too ancient to go into here, chose not to intervene. The commander of those forces, Canada’s General Dallaire, observed later that it was ‘the fear of Western world ­casualties in a country of no strategic or resource ­importance’. In short, he said, in the world of real­politik, ‘Rwanda didn’t count’.” A country of no strategic or resource ­importance, like East Timor and West Papua and Palestine and so many other places where we sit back and watch as their populations are gratuitously murdered.

John hasn’t heard anything from kin today but Heather came around with a card and gift for him and Michelle W. sent greetings, both of which gestures were much appreciated..

September 2, 2024

Watching last night’s news I was amazed that they didn’t make a big deal about the heat yesterday. It was after 8 pm that I happened to notice that the air conditioner was going, on the heat setting. I had left the doors open all day to try to cool the place down, but John was up when I got up at 7 am and he must have turned it on then. He has a funny idea of temperatures these days, constantly changing from sandals to shoes and shirts to jumpers. But on the bright side: over 6 months ago one of my set of Global knives disappeared. Bins were searched, every cupboard and drawer opened, as well as looking in the fridge and freezer, all to no avail. But yesterday John washed up and there was the knife, he had no idea where it had come from…..

Last night I watched Kevin McCarthy’s funeral again on Comcast and noted how frail the celebrating priest is getting. He struggled a bit getting up the three steps to the altar and his voice was much thinner than it used to be. He was forcibly retired at age 80 a few years ago, but he told us yesterday that he is used to slot in to different parishes when the priest goes on holiday for a couple of weeks or a month. He can’t drive any more so he trots off to the churches on public transport every day, which begs the question of why they made him retire from where he just had to walk from his house in the grounds of the church and where he hoped to see out the rest of his life? The upcoming churches are at Carnes Hill, Bonnyrigg Heights and Malabar, so all over the shop and none with train services. The other notable thing about Kevin’s funeral was the reading by our Minister for Indigenous Australians Malarndirri McCarthy. I assumed she must have been a friend of Kevin’s until Pat told me that she is the daughter of Kevin’s brother, I’m so slow that I hadn’t even connected the last name. She looked deeply affected by his loss. Comcast is such a wonderful tool for people unable to attend, I am looking into the possibility of using it for another upcoming funeral overseas but so far I’ve had no reply from an email to the funeral director, however I somehow doubt that it will be on offer.

I decided to contact ADT again as I was having second thoughts about the alarm upgrade and whether or not I should go ahead. So I just asked them to check the records and see how often the connectivity had dropped out, deciding if it was once I would cancel to wait and see if it was just a glitch, but if it was more I would go ahead. However it had happened three times over a couple of months (on specified dates) so I am going to go with the replacement. Luckily I decided that way as when I went to the front door to welcome a visitor there were two parcels of parts on the verandah to do the job. Why don’t delivery men knock any more? Because everything is contract so there’s no customer loyalty to worry about.

I think I am developing a salad addiction. Carrot salad with pickled watermelon rind has been a recent favourite, also potato salad (capers and anchovies a must), and any green salad with a dressing of olive oil, apple cider vinegar and honey. Today I had a sudden desire for coleslaw but instead of buying the ingredients I took the cheat’s way out and went up to El Jannah and bought a pack, can’t wait for dinner.

September 3, 2024

Audiologist this morning for the final testing of my hearing aids before he ticks off to Albo that they are with me permanently. Interesting test involved repeating back about a dozen sentences from a recording, first with hearing aids, then new sentences with ‘cafe level noise’ added, then repeating both types with no hearing aids. It turned out that I got 97%, 92%, 60% and 52% for the four tests, so clearly the hearing aids are doing a fantastic job. The Hearing Hub does a fantastic job and it’s great that I can park in their basement.

A friend was here for lunch on Sunday and reported that she was seeing a physiotherapist for neck, arm and back pain, to no avail. I relayed my experiences with that particular discipline in the past so she cancelled the next appointment and today went to a medico, only to find that she has shingles, exactly the same scenario as Sue’s brother who was having painful treatment for some time last year before going to a doctor. Our friend Terry went to a physiotherapist for almost 12 months while his undiagnosed cancer continued on its merry way untreated till he finally relented and went to a doctor, but by then it was terminal.

I understand our mate Justin Stein is to appear in Penrith Court on Friday for a Readiness Hearing which I think is to just to make sure that everyone is ready to proceed. The parties are required to complete a Certificate of Readiness prior to the case being heard. I can’t go but I doubt it will be more than formalities, however I am interested in what he is being charged with, something I can’t access online. If I am right about his motive in the Mutten child’s murder it may be something to do with viewing child pornography, but we shall see, it could also be to do with his firearms theft or drugs. Seeing he has a life without parole sentence it’s all academic anyway from his point of view.

September 5, 2024

I have been positively deluged with emails supposedly from Microsoft say that my email address is going to be cancelled because of all the spam emails originating from it, plus dozens more variations on this theme. They all ended up in my spam file but so did lots of other emails that were genuine, some quite important. It’s stressing me out so I’ve sent a random couple to Louis for his opinion. What a wonderful world it would be if all of the dishonest people just vapourised overnight. No locksmiths, no keys at all in fact, no security guards, hardly any police, just some for getting cats out of trees and attending accidents and natural disasters, no high fences, no razor wire, I can’t wait, it will be like the Rapture watching them all go up.

Yesterday I had brunch with Fran at bill’s, note no initial capital as per their preference, then went off to Woollahra to find, shock horror, that my favourite fruit loaf was out of stock, but an acceptable if not favoured replacement was purchased along with some other foodie bits that Maloney’s tempted me with. John’s treatment took a record 5 and a 1/4 hours, up from the usual 4. It used to be 3 but when they changed from US blood to Australian it lengthened the procedure by an hour for reasons no one could explain. Perhaps Aussie blood is more laid back and takes its time. I need to pick him up at the door which is a no standing area except for ambulances, so it was tricky when he he told me he was ready an hour before he actually was and then when I was parked in front he phoned to say ‘they’ve just plugged in another bottle’. Anyway it all worked out in the end as everything does, well almost everything.

Reading Miriam Margolyes autobiography and loving it. She seems to be a clone of her mother in many respects, her father was very socially conservative. Though one difference is that la mere was a snob and social climber par excellence whereas Miriam seems to find pals in all walks of life. She is very critical of some people she’s worked with or met socially, and not afraid to name names. There is no vague descriptions of the people who’ve pissed her off, she calls them out pointedly. Her sexual encounters are many and varied, with hilarious results in a few cases. Some of the lines in this book even shock me, which is somewhat hard to do! She writes: ‘I’m a repository of many confidences. People often tell me about things…..that they haven’t told anybody else’ and I can believe that with her openness to oddness. She talks about being a court watcher! ‘going to the Oxford County Court sessions to listen to the cases….I saw and heard details of crime close up’. This led to becoming a prison visitor and going to visit Broadmoor an institution for the criminally insane, saying that many of the inmates ‘looked as mad as snakes. They looked vicious and deranged and were nearly all murderers’. I laughed at her description of going to their carpentry workshop, full of saws and drills and screwdrivers. She got so interested in talking to the inmates that she didn’t realise that she’d be left behind alone with them, amongst all sorts of dangerous objects, something that would never happen these days. (I remember an inmate at the Mulawa Women’s prison cutting off someone’s head with a circular saw in the workshop, or was it her own head? it was some years ago, but in either case I’m glad I wasn’t visiting). I love Miriam’s stories, and her, to bits.

So Elle McPherson sought the opinion of 32 doctors before deciding not to have chemotherapy. This means nothing if we don’t know the stage of the cancer she had, plenty of docs don’t insist on chemo after a low grade cancer lumpectomy. But for those people who will only read the headlines and not think it through, she could be doing real harm by dissuading women who do need it. Who needs 32 doctors anyway? Someone who has a lot of money to waste I’d suggest.

I’m trying to focus on what Kenneth always said to me: ‘You’ve got to learn to com-part-mental-ise, there are lots of parts of your brain and you can just park something in one section until you have the ability or desire to deal with it’. He had to do that in his spy training, learning not to know things that were inconvenient at a given time was a useful skill for a spy and he was very good at it, but I think I’ve been a poor student.

September 6, 2024

This morning there was a beautiful, huge, fluffy, grey cat lying peacefully on my grass verge. It just looked as if it were sleeping there, but was very dead. I burst into tears only to be comforted by the lovely Umair from ADT who is here to install the new alarm system. (He assures me that the system is way past its use by date and it would only cause me trouble in the future if not replaced). That was comforting in itself, but more comforting were the words he used about the cat: ‘Maureen that’s just part of life, it happens to us all’. Somehow, although I knew that intellectually, his words spoke to me at a much deeper level and relieved my soul. Thankyou Umair, thankyou beautiful cat.

September 7, 2024

First day without my beloved brother in the world, his funeral was last night our time and I’m thankful that I was able to watch it live. I had emailed the funeral director asking if this facility were available but they said that the family hadn’t chosen it, however they then (cheekily I think, to get the 54 pound fee) bumped my email to Tanya who authorised it to be done. I watched it here and Davina watched from her place, having offered to come out here to see it together but I said no as it was quite late at night. Carly got a message from Dav but not in time to watch it live, however I have sent her the link. She rang me at 2 am and we had a long chat. Facebook memories came up this morning with photos of Kenneth, John and me walking around Haworth exactly 12 years ago today, a strange coincidence. I tried looking through the Facebook photos for more images of that trip but they only go back 10 years, though somehow they come up as memories from earlier than that.

I tossed up whether to go to First Saturday or not but decided to do it, getting a lift with Martha. I’m not sure it was a good decision as I struggled talking to people, though they probably didn’t notice. It didn’t help that I had already seen the lengthy presentation on polar bears before. My crispy vegetable stir fry seemed to have been through an oven or microwave many times till it was a dish of overcooked veggies and was then served cold, so I left that for others to struggle with and enjoyed mushroom tart and an egg sambo with side salad. By the time we were due to leave I was starting to fray at the seams, I should have driven myself so I could beat a retreat as needed, but it couldn’t be helped. A slice of raisin toast and a cuppa will do me for dinner and I will get up early to finish packing and prepare a simple picnic lunch for tomorrow.

September 9, 2024

The traffic gods were kind to me yesterday and we had a very good trip to Berrima with virtually no trucks on the road. Luckily I stopped at the Mittagong Tourist Information Centre because they told me that the Corbett Gardens where the tulips are will close today Monday for the setting up of the festival due to begin at the end of the week, so we had to see the tulips today, not tomorrow as planned. We had our picnic lunch at Mittagong and then booked into the Berida Hotel as planned.

September 10, 2024

I began typing yesterday’s post in our room after seeing that John was falling asleep during breakfast and after he said he felt unwell and needed to lie down, but the post was rapidly abandoned when I saw that even lying down he was breathless, was as white as a sheet and shaking. I went to the desk to ask for assistance to get him down to the car to go to hospital but once I went back up to the room it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be able to walk down a flight of stairs, so an ambulance was the only option. It was there in 10 minutes and they did an ECG, gave him two lots of drugs and chewable aspirin and carried him in a chair to the ambulance, despite one officer being about 8 months pregnant. I followed the few streets to Bowral Hospital and he was taken in immediately, tested for a heart attack, had multiple other blood tests and a chest X-ray done and then we waited for the rest of the day for the results. Not surprisingly, they showed that he had pulmonary oedema or fluid in the lungs due to heart failure, so I’m really glad that I took the ambo option as that’s a serious diagnosis. He was given a couple of injections for this and told that he would need to be on the same drug in tablet form from now on. He improved overnight but was still very puffy when we started to walk half a block to get some lunch in Bowral before driving back to Gracewood. Eventually I decided that we needed to drive to a bakery instead and thankfully got a park right outside. The hotel was fantastic yesterday, while we were at the hospital they collected all of our stuff and moved it to a much bigger room downstairs (at no extra cost), apologising that they couldn’t give us the Grand Suite because it was upstairs. The manager phoned in the evening and inquired on his condition, all in all a fabulous and warm response.

We were very lucky that we saw the tulips on Sunday as all hell broke loose on Monday. They were absolutely at their peak and I fear will be a little past it by the time the festival concludes. Personally I preferred seeing the gardens without the stalls and food outlets that they will set up by the weekend and I will go before the festival proper begins in future years. It’s hard to imagine how much time and money it would take to deliver that display, 80,000 tulips as well as other flowers like the delightful Hellebores with which I fell in love, I so love green flowers. This morning we went briefly to the emerging Botanical Gardens at Bowral, though John couldn’t walk far so we sat on a seat and looked out over the new garden with volunteers everywhere weeding, mulching, pruning, it doesn’t seem to have any staff that we could see, just a host of busy volunteers. I was taken with a green Hellebore plant and bought it for under the trees out the front. When I said I didn’t have much space in the garden because I had planted a lot of Agapanthus and Clivia the lady stepped back and said, somewhat jolted: ‘Oh, perhaps you could dig some out to make room for better plants’. Clearly my choices were considered infra dig to a seasoned gardener.

Another memory that comes to mind is at breakfast yesterday watching an older couple, aged in their 60s perhaps, trying to get a week’s calories in one meal. First it was fruit, then a large hot breakfast from the buffet, then an order of an omelette with ham, cheese, tomato and chili, followed by crumpets, toast and jam, then Danish pastries. I thought they were done, but no. They ordered pancakes with berries and icecream to top it off! I was agog. Today I felt virtuous as we ate just mandarins in our room for breakfast. I have cancelled everything I had planned in the next week including helping on council election day on Saturday and a bus trip next week, I am going to bring John home for the weekend instead (despite breaking the one night a week rule and having three, we can make up for it some other time) and visit him each day. It’s not that I don’t trust Gracewood staff but I just trust my own judgment more, I know what’s normal with him and what’s not.

September 11, 2024

In an unusual occurrence I emailed the Local Member Mark Hodges about the Dutton-like negativity of his newsletter article on the new Metro and within 10 minutes he was on the phone, reasonable and personable, to defend his stance. He ended up by saying ‘point taken’ and we parted on good terms. How unlike his predecessor, the ghastly David Elliott, who got nasty if you had the temerity to disagree with him, a point I made to Mark.

Although I totally agree with the demonstrators against the war machine conference in Melbourne, I can’t abide seeing police horses caught up in it. Throwing things at a horse doing its job is a low act, full stop.

I am glad for many reasons that I was not driving the Mazda that killed a senior member of the Bandidos motor cycle gang yesterday. Regardless of whose fault it was, and while I think that it would be horrifying to be involved in the death of anyone, it would have an added layer of apprehension when it turns out to be a Bandido. I remember racing to a bikie who had come off his steed near me, only to be abused because, as he told me, the damage to the bike was much more important than the damage to him. I couldn’t really do much about that and left him picking up pieces of it off the road.

John seems to be a bit better today, though Gracewood organised a physio to visit him last evening (I have no idea why) and she said he shouldn’t go out on his usual walks around the block with a companion until next week to allow the drug to start working. My observation in the hospital was that it worked within minutes, but whatever. Anyway I explained to John that he’d agreed yesterday to abstain from walking outside till next week, but of course he forgot that instantly and went out with Neville anyway at 10 to 2, a time rigidly adhered to by his companion. I decided to keep out of it and let them go.

September 12, 2024

From memory the day 10 years ago that William Tyrrell disappeared. John is still doing okay, my anxiety levels are still on a high but I guess will come down. I woke up at 2 am and didn’t go back to sleep. I can’t help thinking about the fact that I had planned to go to Bowral alone, but John wanted to come and thank goodness he did as if he’d got sick at Gracewood and just gone to bed things may have worked out very differently. But I can’t get bogged down in what ifs, she says while bogged down in what ifs. I took the discharge summary to Bb but they had already sent it by email, however I was there for the second shingles vaccine so that’s another job jobbed.

I have had three phone calls this week from Kenneth’s daughter Tanya, funny how the dynamic changes when you delete someone from the picture, now I’m her aunty and she seems to enjoy talking to me. I’ve sent her a couple of photos by email and she asked me if there was anything I wanted as she packs up the house, ‘only his stories’ I said, copies of which she can easily send electronically to save money. I took quite a few photos of me as a toddler and child to show him on my first visit to him (as he had asked me to) and he swiped them I realised later, but I guess I was flattered that he wanted them so much, and he usually got what he wanted. I passed Kenneth St going to see John and smiled, it will be Brother St from now on. I sent an email to John’s priest friend Pat, one of a few we’ve exchanged lately, mostly about all the parish work he’s doing despite being forced to retire. As I hit send I realised I had signed off ‘love Maureen’, perhaps that’s not the done thing, but it was too late by then. Swordfish baked in the oven with spinach, tomatoes and a cheese sauce for dinner, even if I only eat half it’s a step back to routine.

September 13, 2024

It puzzled me that Umair from ADT couldn’t replace the second smoke alarm because it was hard wired with 240 volts while the original one was just attached to the burglar alarm with 12 volts. So I rang the firies and as ever they were keen to help. Four of them arrived in a fire engine soon after and informed me that the second alarm was perfect, didn’t need replacing and even changed the battery so it works if the power goes off. What a gem firies and ambos are! Any questions? they asked at the end. ‘Yes, why is it that you guys and ambos are always so nice and yet the police come in two types, either lovely or really nasty human beings?’ I asked. ‘Oh we know just what you mean’, they said, all nodded furiously. ‘Well the nasty cops are the ones that didn’t pass the test to get into the fire service’, one replied. ADT are going to refund the price of the second alarm, so happy me.

John has had another small setback. A staff member from Gracewood rang to say he was walking unsteadily, quite wobbly, and when they checked him he had high blood pressure and has been confined to quarters. Mmm that didn’t sound right, he has low blood pressure normally and the new drug would make it more so. On personal investigation, it turns out he had LOW blood pressure which made much more sense. I’m hoping that they still let him come home for the weekend, but I will argue that case if and when it happens.

Years ago, 15? 20? when I had my DNA done I was matched as a cousin up with a man in South Africa and we correspond occasionally, still trying to work out our common ancestor. He is much more adept than I at this sort of thing but this week he wanted to know if I had any Taskers in my ancestors. Yes I do! Back in the early 1700s in Lincolnshire, on my mother’s side. I sent him all the details and he’s doing the research. His long later email described every family’s worst nightmare, the death of his grandson in a freak truck accident. He had just finished his final year at school and while deciding his future he was temporarily working for a family company, as a trainee mechanic. One of their articulated trucks returned early from its journey and parked in the normal place for the weekend. The driver switched off and submitted his paperwork but then decided to take the truck and fill-up with diesel ready for an early start. But the boy thought the truck was finished for the weekend and as he could hear air escaping from the rear of the trailer and always being eager to please, he went under to try and determine where the air was leaking from on the air brakes. The driver, not knowing that the boy was under the truck, pulled away and crushed him under the rear trailer wheels, killing him immediately. They think that he didn’t hear the truck start up again due to the noise of the leaking air. It is hard to know what to say to someone you’ve never met in such horrendous circumstances, but he says his wife and daughter are crying day and night and sometimes he is too.

September 14, 2024

I was a bit shocked when I picked John up, he was more confused than usual and Cecilia told me that he was very breathless and to bring him back if he got any worse. She also asked what we were doing for the weekend, suggesting that we not go too far from a major hospital, she was very happy when I said we would spend it at home. Mmm if I had heard anything about tomorrow’s meet-up in the mountains, which I haven’t, it would be off anyway. This afternoon it was touch and go whether to take him to hospital again but then he improved slightly. I think he’s safer here than at Gracewood as there isn’t a doctor readily available at weekends.

September 15, 2024

Had a leisurely and happy breakfast of a pot of tea and toast but before we even got to opening yesterday’s papers John decided to have a shower and that set off his breathlessness so badly that I got quite worried. He was still puffing 10 minutes later and said he felt as if he were going to pass out. When I asked if I should take him to hospital the answer was a definitive yes, so I hared down the M2 to RNSH where his cardiologist is a staff professor and wheeled him into emergency. We waited less than 5 minutes and were soon ushered to an acute bed, then to X-ray. The doc came back with the same news as Bowral, heart failure, which was not unexpected. He was given the same IV drug which helped there as well as a couple of others which I’ve already forgotten. I’m not sure where we go from here as he can’t keep going to emergency and being pumped with the stuff and clearly the tablet form isn’t doing the job. He got a bed in the cardiac ward and tomorrow will see Gemma or her team. It is going to be hard for the staff as at one point they asked him why he was there and he said ‘for bowel surgery’, which would have been the right answer decades ago. His nurse is named Manon, the same as a favourite little French bolthole in the city, a silly fact that pleased us both.

September 16, 2024

Bob rang at 7 am and I burst into a flood of tears then and afterwards, from discussing the merits and demerits of a ‘do not resuscitate’ order. But John is looking much better today and was up walking around when I got there. Compared to yesterday that qualifies as a Lazarus, courtesy of the IV drug. Now we just need to get that amount or something like it into him via tablet. A couple of weird asides: the lady who yesterday wheeled John up to the ward kept her lips tightly shut and didn’t engage with us but when a staff member went by and greeted her she was forced to respond and her top teeth were at a 45 degree angle outwards. I’ve seen buck teeth but this was something else, it must make eating a bit problematic but I think she is way too old for it to be corrected. Yesterday in the paper there was an article about a woman being badly bitten by a pitbull on the North Shore and as a result of the dog bites she had a heart attack. I’m sure she is in the next bed to John, she certainly looks like the woman in the photo and always has a sheet pulled up over one shoulder. He hasn’t seen Gemma yet and the nurse said he was being looked after by another doctor, which seemed odd, so I went to her office and asked if she was away. No, she just does procedures on Mondays and her acolytes are looking after him. Home at 5 exhausted for no good reason, but it’s my TV night tonight so I can veg out.

September 17, 2024

Home at 5.30, it’s a bugger of a trip at that time of the afternoon with the sun in your eyes. When I got to the hospital John was asleep so I let him be, but then thought it would be a good time to try to speak to one of the doctors. She was working on a computer so I indicated that I would like to speak to her, but no hurry. An hour and a quarter later we had a brief chat. She thinks he may be discharged tomorrow, but it depends on the result of an echo they did today. She is doubling the dose of the tablets he was put on in Bowral and hopes that will be enough, however it can be increased even further. Got back to John who was still asleep but then a chap came with a wheelchair to take him away for another test, so it was a pretty disrupted day as far as visiting time went. Those nurses are on 12 shifts, I don’t know how they do it.

September 18, 2024

This has become a hospital blog, as it was 10 years ago when I started it. John has been moved out of cardiac care and into a ward. The cardiologist has been and doubled the drug Bowral Hospital put him on as well as adding three more! One is a diabetes drug and he doesn’t have diabetes, so it must have other properties that help his heart, but the other two I didn’t recognise. Still no call from Gemma, so I think I can forget about getting one now. He seems quite chipper and has acclimatised to being there.

I wanted to get all the details about the council election results but with everything going on I’ve only discovered a few things, that Clover is back, that the Libertarians picked up a lot of votes from absent Liberals and via a message today I found that one of our Hills for Yes 23 group has been elected, so welcome Councillor Tina Cartwright. The rest is a mystery.

I wonder whether the Israeli Mossad squad responsible for the death and maiming of nearly 3000 people in Lebanon and Syria were high-fiving when they heard that the results of their evil plan had been so successful? What a heinous, clever and depraved plan it was, to kill people going about their business, buying their food, visiting their friends, with not a care in the world about who else is mutilated. If that’s what it takes to win I’d rather lose.

September 19, 2024

Woah, the folks who control the universe are having a beano with us at the moment. Last night I came down with a respiratory infection so I can’t go to see John today in case I pass it on, but he says he doesn’t feel as well as he did yesterday ‘for reasons I can’t articulate’ so perhaps I have already done so before my symptoms became apparent. Of course we could both have picked it up hanging around in two different hospitals. RNSH rang just now to get me to come and pick him up but I had to tell them that they need to organise Patient Transport. I had already warned somebody there earlier today that I am unable to get him, but no one was sure if he was being discharged today or not, so clearly my message hadn’t got through to the right person. A pharmacist rang this morning and said John was ‘antsy’ because I hadn’t turned up to visit, despite two phone calls to him explaining the situation. Everything was so simple yesterday and he was looking up.

6 pm and John informs me that the bus can’t get there till 9 pm, so he’s going, but not for a while yet. This morning he was upset with his breakfast ‘oh so what is it?’ I asked. It was fruit salad and pancakes! I pointed out that this is a pretty high end breakfast and he agreed to eat it but reminded me that he has porridge at Gracewood. I tried to avoid going out but even though I thought I had every drug known to man here (never throwing anything out) I have nothing for cold and flu symptoms, so I dragged my carcass up to the pharmacy and got the one Shariff recommended. Weirdly, it works a minor miracle in about 20 minutes, no headache, no sinus pain, no runny nose, no sneezing……but 20 minutes after that they all come back! A bit of a waste of time but nice to have 20 minutes of freedom I guess.

I will watch the news but the TV will be in danger if they talk about our gubment abstaining in the vote put up at the United Nations by the Palestinians. Hang your head in shame Penny and stick your head in a paper bag Dutton (even better a plastic one).

September 20, 2024

John is back safe and sound in Gracewood, but because I couldn’t pick him up he had to wait on the patient transport service, something I’m very grateful for. He is luxuriating in all the space he now has, his own room instead of a similar sized one for four people and plenty of community space including a small garden to wander around in. I am forced to trust that all his new drugs are working and interacting well, he certainly sounds okay.

I got up this morning at 7.30 am, decided to lie down again ‘for a few minutes’ about 9 am and was just woken up by a phone call from a Gracewood nurse at 1.30 pm, the few minutes having stretched out to many hours. I am trying not to beat myself up for all the things that I could have done in that time, as realistically I know I wouldn’t have done any of them.

When I had a cuppa with a slice of fruit cake for lunch I was astonished to find a cherry seed in it, the first time ever I’ve seen one in a glace cherry. For some reason I felt as if I had won something. It reminded me of all the cans of Heinz Baked Beans in Ham Sauce that I consumed over decades, just because the flavour of the sauce was so good. But one day after eating them for 30 years I got a piece of ham and I can remember writing down the date in my diary as some sort of celebration, Ham Day. Well today is Cherry Stone Day and I’m just as chuffed.

I read an article in which J. D. Vance admitted making up many of the stories he recounts. It is astonishing that someone would admit to (and attempt to justify) making up stories about powerless and vulnerable people to try to win an election. He says that it is up to journalists to work out which of his stories are true. But if that were not enough, I saw another article on the ABC about the black Trump-supporting nominee for Lieutenant-Governor of North Carolina who identifies as a Black Nazi and says: “Slavery is not bad. Some people need to be slaves. I wish they would bring it back. I would certainly buy a few.” He pities the fact that the KKK doesn’t allow black men to join. From what swamp do they dredge these people up?

September 21, 2024

Up before 6 am, courtesy of all that sleep yesterday! Still under the weather but fit enough to sift through a whole bunch of court cases, ICAC hearings and inquests to decide which three I will use in the First Saturday talk. Not an easy task, but I must remember that not everyone is as addicted to this stuff as Alan and I are, so we need to limit how long we speak and how many different cases we present. The difficulty will be in the gleaning, not in finding things to talk about, there is no shortage of fascinating human dramas to choose from. In one case I was reading over and that I’ve chosen, it only just occurred to me that every person involved, from the victim to each of the varied perpetrators, was a criminal with a criminal brother. One of them admitted to being a ‘fourth generation criminal’ and in every case the villain was aided and abetted in the offence (or at least supported after the fact) by his brother. What to do with people where crime is part of the everyday functioning of a family? Where doing the right thing is thought of as weak? I’m not sure, but it did stop me in my tracks to reread the notes and remember that one of these brothers lives in Castle Hill. How simple it once was to just look up the White Pages to find an address. However are they any different to the Plymouth Brethren families who are directed to “spoil the Egyptians (non-Brethren people, governments and businesses) by charging the highest possible price to take their money” and to maintain an “utter hatred of the outside world”. Crime families come in all stripes, they are not necessarily murderers.

Hopefully by tomorrow I can safely scoop up John, who would chase a fellow down the street to tell him that he had dropped a coin. He had the opportunity to go on a tour of the Powerhouse Museum at Castle Hill this arv, but was quite content to just colour in instead.

September 22, 2024

I have met Lily Arthur a few times and was both shocked and delighted to see that her story was on the front page of this week’s Good Weekend. Although I remembered the basics of her life story, seeing it described in detail was gut-wrenching. The theft of her child was not just cruel and heartless, but totally illegal, and has ruined her life. The steps taken by the Catholic Church to prevent her marriage to her son’s father reminded me all over again why I dislike religions of all stripes, who manage to inflict pain and misery in the name of their Christ, Allah, Buddha or whoever. The gems who are within a church framework, looking at you Bill Crews, are people who are doing wonderful things despite the values of religion, not because of them. The allegations of private hospitals ‘giving’ children to mothers who had had a still birth are chilling and doctors playing god is something I had heard of before. Two people that I’ve met socially are quite proud of having worked in hospitals where they helped to find ‘good homes’ for these children of ‘girls in trouble’. The ‘trouble’ was actually in the attitudes of them and their ilk, but when it has been raised I’ve chosen to stay silent and not tarnish their positive self-image with views that they would never understand.

The weekend paper was certainly worth its cost this time with the wonderful article from Louise Adler, which unfortunately is just going to earn her more abuse. The ideas expressed seem to me to be the bleeding obvious, but not to a committed Zionist obviously. She is a good egg and I admire her bravery.

Picked John up this morning and it is patently obvious that he is far from his old self. I needed to carry his bag, jacket etc into the house as just walking in from the car was as much as he could manage. The wonder drugs are keeping him alive, but certainly not returning him to what he was a couple of weeks ago. I need to look again at various plans in the near future as clearly he can’t walk very far at all now. The first is that in a couple of weeks he was going to take me out for lunch for my birthday (which he has told me a few times is ‘in a couple of weeks on March 8’ and it involved a 500 metre walk from the bus stop in the city to the restaurant. Clearly that’s not on, so we’ve been tossing around some alternatives over lunch and currently Garfish at Manly is winning, where I can drop him at the door and then go to find a park, however it might be tricky to leave him on the street, though perhaps I can ring them from the car so he can go straight to the table. I need to keep an eye out for a free or cheap collapsible wheelchair for taking him out, otherwise the restrictions are too onerous. Mmm… I just had the brainwave that perhaps Gracewood could lend us one for the days he comes home? Things are not going to be simple from now on.

Yesterday I got a text and then a call from Gracewood to say that his hospital discharge notes had mentioned his monthly IgG infusions and they were ringing around departments at RNSH and St. Vincent’s trying to find someone who knows about this and what it entails. ‘Why didn’t you just ring me?’ I asked and it turned out that according to the notes an agency nurse had rung me and I’d said I knew nothing about it. I’m not sure which Maureen she’d rung, but certainly not this one. The nurse told me she’d also asked Gracewood’s doctor who knew nothing about it either!! This despite his going one day every month for the last 4 or 5 years, including the whole time he’s been at Gracewood. Aye aye, sometimes you can see systems failures that haven’t caused a disaster yet, but easily could have done. Anyway I know if I tell Cecilia or Bisa something it will be sorted with 100% certainty.

September 23, 2024

I see there were plenty of complimentary letters to the Herald regarding Loise Adler’s terrific piece, but of course the big headline had to go to the pro-Israel guy. I’d like to the see the figures about the relative number of letters, but of course we’ll never know that.

Yesterday as we were coming home I stopped at the new Woolworths near Gracewood and noticed a chap driving a very flash silver car that I’d never seen before. Of course because I’m a gig I had to ask him what it was and it turned out to be the latest model Corvette. It is so low to the ground that it has a button to press that raises it to go over speed bumps! How bloody ridiculous, but anyway, I must admit it is aesthetically very pleasing, if ridiculously priced and impractical. I Googled it last night and discovered that there isn’t much change out of $400,000. I said to the chap that I’d always thought that people who buy two door cars don’t have any friends, but he replied that must be doubly the case with him as he owns two two-door sports cars. I would have loved to ask what type of crime he specialises in, but as we’d had a laugh together I decided not to push my luck. Love random moments.

Today I finally had the ceiling painted in the back room where water got in last December. After months of haggling with the GIO who have always been very good about claims, they finally got sick of me and offered $400 cash, which I accepted. I had two quotes, $450 and $150, from two very different fellows. Seeing it was the cheaper fellow I liked, I went with him and I’m very happy with the job, the man who did it and the fact that I now have a painter to use if I need one. Win, win, win.

John made it through the weekend okay but could not have carried his bag into Gracewood on his own. Luckily I took it upstairs and met the physio who began trying to get him to accept the use of a walker. After some reluctance he accepted it ‘as a trial’ when she explained that having something to lean on will lessen his breathlessness. I had no need to bring up the wheelchair option as yesterday Tania rang wondering why I’d gone quiet of late. After telling her about John having been in hospital she announced ‘If you ever need a wheelchair I’ve got one in the garage and you could have it for as long as you like’. Thanks to whomever is listening in to my conversations and reading my blog entries.