I decided to write a letter to Hermann Hesse about his book Siddhartha. Seeing I am a Westie girl by upbringing, I reverted to south of the Parramatta River for the missive.

“G’day mate. I fort I’d let you know how an Aussie sheila feels about this book a yours. This Sid seems like a bit of a dill mate.

He wastes is yoof denying himself everythin, then he goes mad dooin the lot, gets his girl up the duff, pisses orf, then he tries to neck hisself and by then he’s old. I liked the bit where the red-bellied black gets is missus though, that was sweet as.

He wants to know what life’s all about mate, so I’ll tell ya and ya can pass it on to Sid. It’s about nuffin. Look at our koalas (little bears mate). Do they keep askin? No, they just eat when they can and shit when they have to. They’re happy and smarter than this bloke I reckon. So tell old Sid there’s nuffin more to it, the koala knows and they reckon he’s a dumb animal!
So thanks for the book mate, but I won’t be readin any more about Sid or any of is mates neither. Life’s too short mate. It looks like he’s just wasted is time, just like you’ve just wasted mine mate. Cheers.”

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